Tears keep falling down my face, uncontrolably. I can't contain myself. I feel like my whole world is being ripped into pieces. My mom died from a heart attack a week ago today. Her funeral was yesterday. My scumbag of a father is on his way to pick me up from me and my moms little white house, with green shutters, at this very moment. I am going to miss this house so much. I had helped my mom paint those shutters green just last year...

I sat on the front porch steps staring at my black boots when I heard a honk. I looked up and saw my dad, whom I had not seen in 12 years, waving at me with a big smile on his face. A smile? At a time like this? Seriously? He had not visited me in 12 years. I got the occassional phone call from him on holidays or my birthday, but that was it.

I sighed, stood up, and grabbed a couple of my bags. I did not wave back at him. He opened up the trunk of his Chevy Triverse for me to put my bags in and he proceeded to walk up to the porch and get the rest of my bags. I brought most of my stuff except for my bed and my furniture. Dad called me the day after the funeral and told me that he had a whole bedroom with everything in it for me to use.

I opened up the passenger seat door and climbed in. My dad put the last of my bags in the trunk and then hopped into the drivers seat.

"It's so nice to see you Peyton. You have grown up so much."

"It's been 12 years. So, yeah." I looked out the window.

"Honey, I never meant for things to turn out the way they did." He looked straight forward at the road. His eyes were unreadable.

"So you never meant to cheat on my mom with some bimbo and then marry that bimbo?"

Dad took a heavy sigh. "Peyton.......there is more to the story than that."

"Enlighten me then." I tap my foot against the car door.

"Your mother and I got married so young. I wasn't ready for a committment like that, but then she got pregnant with you and...." He trailed off and glanced at me like he didn't know what else to say.

"You didn't love her?" I ask.

"Yes, Peyton. I did love your mother, but I loved her more as a friend."

Wow. I could not believe that just came out of my fathers mouth.

With my mouth slightly dropped I looked over at him. "Then you should have never married her. You should have let me and mom live our lives without you ever being in it at all."

I knew I sounded mean, but this was 12 years of built up tension all coming out at once.

"Peyton, I was young and I was immature. I have made many mistakes in my life, but I want to fix the mistake that I made with you. I want to get to know you."

I didn't feel like being in this conversation anymore. I want to just sit here and look out the window before I start crying again.

"Can we just stop talking for a while and you just let me know when we are almost there?"

"Okay, baby." My dad said, sounding defeated.

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