the man he used to be

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She pulled the shawl tighter around her shoulders as the carriage stopped outside a huge estate. She had been here before. With her husband. The word alone sounded wrong in her head. Fernand had never really been her husband. Well, not in her heart anyway. In her heart there was only one. One she had believed dead. But she had seen him again, at the ball in this house. The ball given by the Count of Monte Cristo. It was him. She knew it was. She knew his eyes. These blue pools, which she remembered to be so much warmer, kinder. Not the cool and hard orbs he had now.

She got out of the carriage and took another deep breath. She needed to do this. She needed to speak to him. He needed to know. Mercedes started to walk towards the gate and knocked with shaking hands. Just a moment later the door was opened by his servant. Jacopo, she thought his name was. “I need to see your master.” She said lowly, only barely keeping her voice from shaking. Jacopo nodded. “Yes, follow me, Madam.” He said and Mercedes stepped inside the house. It was dark and she felt this insecurity coming over her again. But she needed to do this. To talk to him. Explain. Make him see. Tomorrow it would be too late. He needed to know everything.

“I will ask my master to see you…” Jacopo said and suddenly Mercedes reached out to stop him. “No!” she whispered. Jacopo turned to her again. “No, please… he won’t see me if you ask him. Just... take me to him, please. I need to speak with him. It is very urgent.” Jacopo looked at her for a moment before he nodded reluctantly. He knew who this woman was. And he knew how his master still thought about her. Even if he hid it under all these feelings of betrayal , hurt and mostly his wrath. “Follow me please.” He said lowly. Mercedes let out a relieved sigh, then quickly followed the servant through the corridors. They finally stopped in front of a door on the first floor. “He will be in there. I am leaving you now.” Jacopo said, bowed quickly and left her alone. He would rather not be around when his master learnt that this woman was here. Jacopo only hoped he would listen to her. Whatever she had to say must be important if she came her in the middle of the night. All alone. And obviously disguised, so she would not be recognized. This could be bad for her if she had been seen.

Mercedes stared at the door. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest. She clenched her hands which had suddenly started shaking. What would he say? How would he react? Would  he even believe her? Listen first of all? He had to… He must remember… She took another deep breath and then knocked.

“Yes!” The voice was just like she remembered, dark and smooth, but it sounded harder now. The velvety edge it used to have was gone. Mercedes hesitated, then pushed the door open. She slowly stepped inside the dimly lit room. He was standing opposite her, his back towards her, examining something on the table before him. She cast a quick look around the room. There was a huge bed in one corner. Mercedes quickly looked away. This was his bedroom! She instantly felt even more unsure of herself. She should not be in here. She imagined he would have been in a sitting room, his library or somewhere else, but not his bedroom!

The bed looked untouched though, but next to it were some pillows and blankets on the hard floor, strewn there like someone had slept there. Mercedes was puzzled. Was that where he slept? On the cold hard floor?

“Jacopo, what is-“ Mercedes looked up and saw that he had turned around. She stared at him. His tall frame, the dark hair and piercing blue eyes. And… the white shirt he was wearing, halfway unbuttoned. Mercedes immediately looked away. She suddenly felt like the shy, young woman all over again. Like she felt all those years ago. Her cheeks started to colour.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was hard and cold, it could have cut ice. It stopped her train of thoughts right there. “I…” She swallowed hard. “Edmond…” she whispered finally. He froze.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 28, 2015 ⏰

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