Chapter 20

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Draco was leaving today.
We had talked a lot after he told me that he was going away but I still ached mentally after the news was crashed onto me. The truth is I don't think I could manage without him, and as cliché as that might sound it's true. I cried a lot last night, not wanting to fully take in the fact that I will never see him again. . .jeez this is sounding like a soap opera. Realization hit me fully when he woke me up to say goodbye.

My door was opened by Draco and he came and sat down on the edge of my bed. I got up out of my sleeping position and sat at the edge with him.
"When are you going?" I asked softly
"In about ten minutes" he said grimly. We were silent for a while, just relishing in each other's presence. Savoring these minutes.
"Samantha I'm really sorry, I hope that you can forgive me for doing this to you" he said
"Well there's nothing we can do" I said. Suddenly a silvery light appeared in my room, it was a cat.
"Mr Malfoy, it is time to go now" was all it said before vanishing taking all its silvery wisps of light with it.
We stood up and now we're at the door of my room. Draco looked down at me with his eyes glossy, his eyes that trapped you when ever you looked at them. He bent down and gave me a kiss.
It was slow and gentle, something I was sure to miss while he was gone. I knew that once he left which he would have to do, I would never feel the same again. He rested his forehead on mine as we breathed.
"Goodbye Samantha" he said still not moving
"No it's not" I said
"What's not what?" He asked confused
"It's not a good bye, it's a badbye a very terrible and horrible bye" I said tears falling down my cheeks. I was actually surprised that I cried because I thought that all my tears had ran out after last night.
"How about just bye?" He tried.
"I don't want to say bye at all" i said
"I know, apparently the world isn't a wish granting factory" quote from the fault in our stars. . .just saying it was awesome and had me in tears.
"Well then, bye Mantha. I hope you have the most wonderful life because you truly deserve it" he said, kissing me on the cheek and before anymore tears were shed he left.

"Hey Sam why don't you come and sit in a compartment with us?" Ginny asked as we entered the train to go back home.
"Thanks but no thanks" I said with a weak smile.
She looked at me with worried eyes, probably trying to figure out what was wrong with me but she didn't pester me for answers.
"Okay, see you when we get off" she said and with those words she disappeared down the corridor of the train.
I walked in the opposite direction until I found an empty compartment. I opened the glass door and took a seat. My mind was bustling with new thoughts along with old thoughts that just haven't been answered yet.
I got my headphones and iPod out (I have two iPods. . .don't judge)
I curled up on the couch like seats. I just couldn't believe that a year ago I was on that very train and had no idea of what fate had in store for me. What destiny had planned was nothing like what I expected it to be. I shook my head and stuck my earphones in my ears and shuffled the songs.

"All the things that we've lost
Breaking up comes at a cost
I know I'll miss this mistake
Every word I try to choose
Either way I'm gonna lose
Can't take the ache from heartbreak

Oh, but as you walk away
You don't hear me say

Where's the "good" in goodbye?
Where's the "nice" in nice try?
Where's the "us" in trust gone ?
Where's the "soul" in soldier on ?
Now I'm the "low" in lonely
Cause I don't own you only
I can take this mistake
But I can't take the ache from heartbreak
No, I can't take the ache from heartbreak

No matter how it falls apart
There's an "art" in breaking hearts
But there's no fair in farewell. . ."

No good in goodbye by THE SCRIPT, I thought the song really fitted this part.

I put my hands over my face and squeezed my eyes shut trying to ignore the words in the song relating so much to my situation. Images. . .memories, flashed in my mind.
The first time Draco talked to me, when we went to the astronomy tower, when I told him my father died, when I went with him to the ministry, the dance, our game of 20 questions and finally this morning when he left. Sadness filled me and was sure going to stay with me for a long time.
What I loved had been snatched away from me, painfully stolen. At that moment I was not sure how I was going to face everything again. And you might say, 'why is she acting like she's going to die without him?' Well go ahead and think that because the truth is I think I might just not survive.
Many assumptions have been made about love, many theories have been concocted over time. I hardly know anything about love but there is something I know now, it's that it will never stay with you forever. It has to go some time, it gets taken away from you. Nothing lasts forever remember? But hey that's just my idea of it, other people might have love for the rest of their lives, and I'm happy for them. There is a love that will stay with me forever, the love I have for my family, for the things I like to do, friends. But there is one person who I love differently and I know is now gone forever.

My mind went back to the time I first saw him, one thing has changed between now and then. Then, it was only him that was broken. Now . . .we are both broken.

Oh my God it's over. That's it. Done. Wow. Okay.

Sorry the ending wasn't so great's actually not over yet. I'm writing an epilogue that will be posted as soon as possible and i hope you guys like it because after that, it's really over.

Thank you so much for reading, voting and commenting. I love the insane amount of support that I've been getting from you guys so thank you thank you thank you. :)

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