Dawn of the Duchess

13. Best Friends are there to Help

"Hm...my best friend senses are tingling," said Titus Irving, his head swiveling to glance back over his shoulder. "Patrick must be experiencing something really amazing right now."

"Must he, now?" Karim threw him a sideways glance, his right hand clenching tightly around the hilt of his sabre. "I wish I were with him, then."

"Awww, come on!" Grinning broadly, Titus slung an arm around Karim's shoulders. Or at least half a shoulder, which was about as far as his arm could reach. "Don't pull such a long face! Haven't I brought you out with me for some fabulous entertainment?"

"Yes," Karim stated dourly, his grim eyes fixed on the sign above the door ahead of them that read Ginny's Girl and Gambling Den. Judging by the bodyguard's expression, it might as well have read abandon hope, all ye who enter here. "Fabulous, I'm sure."

"Come on, my new friend!" Tightening his grip on all the parts of Karim he could reach, Titus started guiding the bodyguard towards the entrance. "Relax! Have some fun! Let your beard—ehem, hair down!"

Karim sent the smaller man a glare that promised death, destruction and hellfire. "If you ever breathe one word about my setting a foot in this establishment, I shall introduce you to my father's talwar!"

"Um...is talwar a word for a beautiful courtesan?"

Karim placed a hand on the pommel of his sabre. "What do you think?"

"Oy!"

Both of them froze in place, then turned around. There was nothing behind them.

"Down here, shitheads!"

They looked down, only to come knee-to-face with Maximus the Marvellous and his beloved friend, Mr Whiskey Bottle.

"Are we done wasting time?" the imp demanded, raising his flask into the air. "This thing is nearly empty, and I need a refill!"

"I am surrounded by sinners," Karim pronounced gloomily.

"Nah, we're both in front of you, your other sides are still free," Titus cheerfully corrected him. Then he turned the bodyguard back towards the entrance of the gambling den. "But you're about to be surrounded."

"You're going to pay for this."

"Oh no, no!" Titus beamed. "This will all go on Patrick's tab!"

And before Karim could get out anything in response, he was grabbed by the smaller man and, somehow, impossibly, dragged into the building. The moment he passed the doorstep, he seemed to regret it.

"Welcome, Sir," purred a voice from his right.

"'ow may I serve ye, Sir?" came a seductive whisper from his left.

"By putting on a poncho and taking twenty steps back?" Karim suggested, not daring to glance at the scantily-clad women who had flanked him.

Unfortunately, all that evoked as a response was a flood of giggles and two arms sneaking up to link with his.

"You lucky dog!" Titus nudged the bodyguard's ribs with his elbow, and survived solely due to both of Karim's arms being occupied and unable to retaliate. "They never treat me like that."

Karim sent the nobleman a glare that could kill a mountain grizzly at sixty paces. "I wonder why."

"You don't really have to. It's because I never really have money to spend."

The bodyguard suddenly seemed hopeful. "What if I tell them that I don't have any, either?"

Titus smirked. "Then I'll tell them who your employer is and how deep his pockets are."