3: Why does it have to be you?!

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In the meantime, Shuichi had arrived at his dorm room. His trembling fingers could barely put the key into the keyhole, but when he finally made it, he sprinted in and quickly closed the door behind him.

What exactly had this daydream in class been? Just at the thought of it, his face took on an unhealthy red tone. "AAARGHH!", Shuichi shouted, covering his face with his hands. He stayed like this for a while before his fingers slowly became wet. Tears flowed down his cheeks, and he sat down on his bed.

It was impossible for him to win Kokichi's heart. He was nothing more than a desperate detective who didn't understand his own feelings, falling for the very first person who gives him lots of attention. And why Kokichi out of all? Couldn't it have been a sweet girl like Tsumugi or Kaede, or at least a nice guy like Gonta? Anyone, just not Kokichi.

Kokichi was mean, tiny, hid a lie in each and every breath and couldn't do anything but piss off Shuichi and make stupid comments. Why would anyone fall in love with him?? (A/N: pls forgive me Kokichi fans, in my heart I love him too)

And there was no one who Kokichi would ever seriously love. Especially not a boy. He preferred to be pampered by Kirumi or manipulate Gonta like so often. But really appreciate someone and want to be close to them? Unbelievable.

Shuichi slumped on his bed, his legs encircled by his arms, and let his feelings run free.

"Maybe it's better if I give up..." he sobbed quietly. But no one but the emptiness that swallowed his words could answer him.

He didn't care about the bet with Kaito anyway. As soon as the latter got together with Maki, he would neglect him, and in the end, Shuichi would be alone again. However, this was not the worst thing about the situation.

When Shuichi's thoughts returned to the shy Kokichi (*cough* who had been naked), he felt a sudden tightness in his pants. Of course, he had to get a boner in the middle of him crying and being depressed over his first love.

But somehow, it was understandable. The Kokichi, who Shuichi met every day, never showed his true, vulnerable side. Whenever he was sad or troubled, it was just fake in order to make fun of his classmates. There was no way he would ever show his vulnerable side to anyone. He was the Ultimate Supreme Leader, after all. And this unreachable side of him that Shuichi had seen in his dream was the reason Shuichi had fallen for the Supreme Leader in the first place. The way the cute little boy cuddled onto him, saying he was his favorite, showering him with attention, although he pranked him more than once and turned any moment when he actually became serious into a lie, this side of him, the loveable Kokichi, was the one Shuichi wished to see more often. A side that cried out for him to spend time with him, pouted when he didn't let him cuddle him and call out to him as 'Saihara-chan'. A side that needed him. Yes, that was it. Shuichi wanted to be needed by Kokichi. He didn't just want to be a replaceable toy.

Struck by that realization, Shuichi sobbed louder, burying his face in the pillow.



Kokichi crossed his arms behind his head and casually wandered down the courtyard towards the dormitory. The sun enlightened the trees and flowers beside the asphalted walkway. He had left Shuichi's cap in his own dorm room, so it would be quite handy if he was nearby.

The Ultimate Supreme Leader climbed the stairs to the second row of boy dorm rooms, his room all the way on the left, and opened his door. "Baka Saihara-chan. If you dare to ignore me once more, then I'm gonna get really angry with you." He crawled over his unmade bed until he finally found Shuichi's cap stuffed under his pillow.

He didn't want to admit it to himself, but sleeping with the cap had helped Kokichi not to have nightmares. The familiar smell of the detective that he could catch by chance when he hugged him or clang onto his back comforted him. When he smelled it right before going to bed, it felt as if Shuichi held him in his arms and protected him from all the gruesome thoughts that could possibly torture him at night. He didn't know what that strange feeling of comfort was, but it was much better than anything he'd ever tried to get rid of his nightmares.

"I don't want to give it back," Kokichi complained to himself. He took the cap up against his face, but by now it had lost Shuichi's scent. As soon as he realized this, he threw the cap across his room. "BAKA SAIHARA-CHAN!"

After a few minutes of silent pouting, Kokichi finally got up from his bed, picked up the cap and left his room.

Shuichi's room was in the lower row of the dorm rooms on the far right near the entrance, so Kokichi made his way down the stairs, flipping the cap in circles on his finger. When he arrived at the room with Shuichi's pixel image on it, he took a deep breath. Then he knocked on the door.

"Saihara-chaaaan? I'm here to return your cap as I promised." Kokichi called out to Shuichi with a soft voice, hoping that the detective was not angry with him or something. However, he received nothing but silence, as if Shuichi wasn't even there. "S-Saihara-chan...?", he repeated hesitantly. Unsure what he was doing, he pushed down the doorknob and expected a locked door, but it opened no problem.

Reluctantly, Kokichi entered the darkened room. The curtains had been drawn. "Saihara-chan, are you here?", Kokichi asked again. At first, he wanted to turn back to leave and look elsewhere for Shuichi, but then he heard a silent sob from the bed, which was completely in shadow.

"Saihara-chan?" Kokichi sat on the side of the bed and tapped on the mattress a few times looking for Shuichi. The black-haired detective engulfed himself deeper into his blanket, facing the wall. "Please leave, Ouma."

Silence. Kokichi didn't move a muscle, his gaze continued to be directed at the bed, his eyes slowly getting used to the darkness. He was able to vaguely make out the outline of his classmate, who was lying curled up under his blanket. Another sob came out. Kokichi immediately moved closer to Shuichi and carefully placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Saihara-chan... Are you okay?" he gently asked, brushing his fingers back and forth over the blanket. "Why are you crying? If I annoyed you too much with my pranks, I'll apologize, but you don't have to avoid me as if I had murdered someone."

No response from under the covers.

"Hey, are you listening to me? I'm trying to make it up to you." Kokichi began gently poking Shuichi's shoulder with his little fingers to get his attention.

"That's not why I'm avoiding you, don't worry. And now please leave. Otherwise, you'll never see me again."

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