Changes

25

As if on cue, I hear the front door open, and Ryder calls, "I'm back!"

"Well, it looks like you've got explaining to do." He says. "Have fun."

"I'm not telling them now." I say.

He shrugs. "Well, go say hi to Ryder at least."

I nod. I can do this. Admitting feelings isn't that hard. But...maybe I'll practice just a bit first.

"So, I like you all. A lot. And, um, I..."

Jeez. I haven't even told them yet, and it's going terribly.

I sigh at my reflection in the mirror. I have no idea how I'm going to tell them how I feel. Also, there's the fact that I don't think I'm ready for another relationship yet, especially one with four other guys. And I don't know how to tell them that.

But I want to. So, I go to Micah's room across the hall, where they are.

I knock on the door, and it opens after a couple seconds.

"Oh, hey, sweets," Micah smiles. "What's up?"

Zac, Finn, and Ryder are on the bed, and Apollo on the ground. I swallow, tugging at one of my curls. "Can I talk to you guys?"

"Sure, come on in."

He closes the door behind me, and I follow him to his bed. They all look at me curiously, as I sit-careful to avoid Finn's leg. I press my hands to my legs to stop them from shaking.

"Um, I wanted to talk to you guys about what...what you told me. About...how you feel?"

"Alright," Zac says softly. "What about it?"

I look down at the bed. "I think-no, I do like you guys. A lot."

"You do?" Finn says.

I look up to see him grinning. "Yeah."

Ryder frowns. "What else?"

"But, um..." I swallow, looking back down. "I'm not ready for another relationship yet."

I'm afraid to look up, afraid to see the disappointment in their eyes. But fingers link through mine, squeezing lightly.

"That's okay," Micah says. "We can wait for you."

I smile. "Really?"

"Really."

"But you do like us, right? Not that other guy? Us?" Finn asks. "We didn't pressure you or anything?"

I shake my head. "I do like you."

"Who'd you like first?" Micah asks. "Me, right?"

"Zac, actually." I say.

Zac blushes. "Really?"

I nod. "From what happened at the party."

"Then me?"

Smiling, I shake my head. "Then Ryder."

"Then me?"

"Then Finn."

Micah groans, falling back on the bed. "They didn't even try."

"I'm kidding," I say. "After Ryder kissed me, I realized I liked all of you."

"Okay," Micah says. "Ryder, you owe me ten dollars."

My eyes widen, but Ryder quickly shakes his head. "He's lying."

"I am not." Micah says.

I look at Zac and Finn for confirmation on who's telling the truth. Finn nods at Ryder.

"When we told you how we felt," Zac says. "Why'd you avoid us?"

I look down. "Jackson. It felt wrong to have feelings for you guys while he was in the hospital. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, it wasn't fair to you guys."

I realize there's another time I need to apologize for, too.

"Also, when I ignored you and Ryder-I shouldn't have done that either."

"Why did you?" Ryder asks.

I bite my lip. "I had a nightmare. Carlos and Jackson, they said...they said I was replacing them with you guys. And I wanted the feelings to go aways, so..."

He nods as Micah sits up again. "So, can we kiss you still? Or should we wait?"

"Wait..." I say slowly. "But..."

Making a split second decision, I lean over, and plant a kiss on Finn's lips. They all look surprised, but Finn looks delighted.

"Why does he get a kiss?" Micah pouts.

I blush. "I already kissed you guys, but not him."

"But they all got longer kisses," Finn says, grinning.

"How do you know?"

"They all explained the kisses in great detail," He says. "Can I have another? Please?"

I look at the others, and when Ryder nods, I lean over to kiss him again.

This time, Finn cups my face, kissing back softly. My fingers find his shirt, curling in the fabric as I lean closer. Finn's lips part as he lets out a breathy sigh.

I pull away first, my face warm. I see the other three watching us, and it just makes me blush harder.

"I'm going to go back to my room," I mumble softly, standing up. They all look so happy, and I can't hide the smile on my face.