The Heart Wants What it Wants (Cameron Dallas) COMPLETED

Chapter 38- Hoping for Death

***2 WEEKS LATER***

BRITTANY'S POV

It's been a week now and school is out for spring break and luckily, here in LA, their spring breaks are 2 weeks long, a much needed break from everything. I've been moved from my foster home once again and their foster parenting license was taken away because of Logan. Turns out I wasn't the only one he was bullying in the so called "home". He was bullying all the kids. Also turns out that he raped the little girl there, Emily. She was only 12. So Logan is in juvey and who knows where the other kids are. As for me, I am now staying at Carter, Matt, Nash, and Aubrey's. Taylor moved into his own place in town and Cameron and I are still on the apparent "break" but something tells me this is an everlasting break. He hasn't made any attempt to talk to me at all. It put me back in my depression and yesterday I tried ending it. Aubrey caught me and now she's watching me 24/7. Oh! And all because the drama with Cameron, I missed my audition/ meeting thing in NYC with Victoria's Secret anyway which really bums me out. I emailed them to ask for a reschedule but they haven't responded yet.

All the guys are leaving for Magcon today and I'm really going to miss Matt and Jack G. Jack and I are close again and Matt is still my best guy friend. So hope that's enough of a filler in for you, because I really don't want to keep talking about it.

"Want to go to the beach?" Aubrey comes in the room with a sigh already in her black bikini and a towel in her arm.

"I guess I have no choice... you're already ready." I get off the couch, weak voiced. I haven't slept in 3 days. Too much crying.

"You can stay here but how do I know you'll be all right?"

"You can trust me. I promise. I won't try anything."

"Promise?!" She tries to confirm again.

"Yes!" I snap at her when I really didn't mean to. "Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I'll check in every half hour, if you are about to go to sleep or something, just text me that." She blabs away and all I can think about right now is that I want to continue crying.

I nod my head and she walks out of the apartment. I was now alone and knew that wasn't the safest thing to do for me right now, but I couldn't leave Aubrey like that and have her have to live with the feeling it was partially her fault that I'm gone, the rest of her life. But if I could attempt suicide again, I would. That's how angry at myself right now. I'm worthless and I bet Cameron would even agree.

Matt and all the others were all out at lunch. Their tour bus comes at 3:00. It was now noon.

I walk to the bathroom and undress so I can take a hot, relaxing bath. Hopefully I'll fall asleep and drown.

•••

I got out of the tub and dried off and searched through the little clothes I had in my drawers in my room. I couldn't find anything that seemed very comfortable so I grab a unfamiliar sweatshirt. It was Cameron's? I guess I had it ever since that horrible night... I slip it on and put on panties and nothing else. I didn't care. None of the guys were coming home anymore today. They were being picked up at the restaurant because Bart and Chad were meeting them all there.

I sit on the couch and turn on the TV to Netflix and flip through numerous shows. I come to the show I haven't watched in a while. Pretty Little Liars. It reminded me of Cameron but I have to watch it again some time because it was too addictive to not watch.

As I watch the show, I hear shuffling of feet right outside the door. I look over my shoulder and see the shadow of someone standing behind the door. An envelope slips through the bottom of the door and I get up and pick it up and quickly open the door to see Cameron walking back into his apartment. He looks at me with pain in his eyes and I'm sure he seen the depression in mine. Without saying a word, he shuts his door behind him and I shut mine. How was he back? He was supposed to be at the restaurant with the others waiting for the bus to take them to the first tour stop.

The back of the envelope had my name on it so I open it up and read the note after sliding against the wall, down onto the floor.

Brittany,

Let me just begin by telling you, I will never ever love anyone ever again if I can't have you back in my arms. I was a jerk and just was on edge at the time. It was the dumbest mistake I've ever made. So until we talk, I'm not leaving for Magcon. Please come and talk to me when you're ready. If you don't come over by 2 am, I'll know its over. Please don't let me get on that plane. At least not without you. I love you so much.

-Cam Xoxxxxx

Without hesitation I stand up, run out of the apartment and knock on Cameron's door. As if he was standing right behind it waiting for me, he opens and I run into his arms. I've went 2 weeks without this and I missed it more than anything in the world.

•~•~•~•
I open my eyes, to still being in the bath tub. Too bad it was just a dream.

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Haha did I catch you off guard? 😋