Adore You Too [H.S]

58 // Fall More In Love Every Day

Valentine's Day - Part 1
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"Valentine's Day - roses and chocolates, a dinner for two, a carefully chosen card with a carefully worded message awaiting. Did you get one? I did, from my beloved. Which came as rather a surprise, not because he's unromantic or forgetful, but because he died in December. With remarkable foresight, he nevertheless arranged for me a Valentine's card before he departed. I'm very touched and grateful. And a bit surprised because, in widowhood, you think your days of wine and roses are done. Not so.
I've just been on a cruise, winter sun in dark days, and, aged a cultish fifty-seven, was one of the younger passengers on board. The demographic naturally includes lots of widows and widowers. And let me tell you, husbands and wives and civil partners may pass away, but romance is eternal. Eternal and, in some some cases, persistent. One passenger, a widow with long experience, ripe in years, but sprightly in his affections was known as 'Romeo Ron'. He took up his positions at the back of the calabash lounge in time for the classic afternoon film. And from there would attempt an age, what I imagine with romantic escapades of his youth. So ardent was he in Sunset Boulevard, that I heard a woman's voice exclaim indignantly from the back seat, "Ron, do I look like a flippin' teenager?" And her anguish was actually a bit saltier than that. And when I turned around, and she saw my dog collar, she said unnecessarily, "Sorry vicar. I'm from London."
I was glad to see the spirit of romance still on deck, on deck 7, glad to see that the onboard florist did a roaring trade, and glad that intimate tables for two were filling the restaurants, lit by the artificial flicker of the Health and Safety compliant fake candle, rather than the screens of smartphones. How many of those will tonight lie glowing on the table next to the butter knife in restaurants from Southampton to Wick? Well, the light may flicker and dim, but it never goes out. For as The Bible reminds us, love is strong as death. Passion, fierce as the grave. It's flashes, a flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.
If you're lucky enough to have a Valentine: pelt, drench, submerge them with cataracts of abundant, extravagant, and reckless love. And have a happy Valentine's Day."

'The light may flicker and dim - but it never goes out', Reverend Richard Coles, Pause For Thought, February 14, 2020

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Harry

On the drive home, I thought about what Reverend said, about showering your valentine in immense amounts of love. It's not often that you find such a deep and passionate interest in someone, and with such quick pace, might I add. But I've done just that. And I've done my best to prioritize celebrating that while I continue my journey to try to understand it.

I'm not sure I completely understand why I feel for Lili the way I do. Some could say it's too soon to tell, but others say when you know you know. I admit I could very well just be a lovesick, hopeless romantic yearning for the easiest thing. And that's just it — it's so easy with her. Don't get me wrong here, Lili's most definitely an easy person, she can actually be quite complex at times. But it feels as if I've known her for so much longer than I have. Like, every month I've known her has been a year that we've been seeing each other. Maybe it's because of the hectic day-to-day life we've experienced together. Or maybe it's the deep, indubitable connection I have felt towards Lili since the day I first met her.

It pains me to think of all that I could have missed out on if I had never met her. Now that she's in my life, a world without her seems impossible to me. From the moment I open my eyes in the early morning to the time I shut them again to fall asleep, she's a constant thought on my mind. Even in my dreams — God, my dreams — she's there. No matter how hard I may fight it, I can't get her off my mind.

I only fought it at first, however. In the best way possible, the thought of her was like a virus. I didn't notice she was really there in the beginning, then I started showing symptoms — the sight of her alone would make my heart race, my throat would go dry, I would be at a loss for words. I thought my immunity had built up, but I was weak for her. Day after day, she consumed my brain until her name was plastered on every wall, and no other thought came about. She was the virus that was slowly taking over my entire life.