unconditional

9| hurt

SAM

I CAN'T SAY I enjoyed the fertility clinic. It was much too warm, the nurse I had smelt like celery, they made us wait a solid hour, and then sent us into separate rooms for another hour.

I was thoroughly interrogated, on anything and everything, had my blood drawn, then was given a cup, left alone, and told to work my magic.

I'll give you a hint, I didn't pee in the cup.

I decided to stop complaining when Maddie told me about her afternoon, which was much more...invasive than mine.

We aren't going to get the test results for a little bit, by the end of the week was their prediction, but we were released and told to go home and rest.

More Maddie than me, but still.

As soon as we get into our apartment, she kicks her shoes off and plops down on the couch, heaving a loud sigh.

I follow suit, my body heavy with exhaustion.

She looks up at me for a second, her golden brown eyes half open, and I motion for her to come closer. Opening my arms, she crawls into my lap, her arms going around my neck.

"I'm so tired," she whispers into my hair, and I nod, smoothing my hands up and down her back.

"I'll make you lunch and then we'll take a nap, okay?" I mumble, and she hums, her voice soft.

"What do you feel like, hm?" I press a couple kisses to her cheek and jaw and she smiles.

"I dunno, I'm not even that hungry. I'd be fine to just shower and sleep, I don't think I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair properly." She gingerly touches the back of her head, where she bumped her head, and grimaces. "Definitely didn't."

"You haven't eaten, Mads, definitely no showering until you eat. Tell me what you feel like." I insist, leaning back on the couch, watching her sit back, her hands behind her on my knees.

"I ate at the hospital."

"Half a blueberry muffin."

"To be fair, it was a big muffin."

Dropping my hands on her upper arms, I look her dead in the eye and say, "The fact you aren't eating is stressing me out a lot, please eat something, even if you aren't very hungry. For my peace of mind, at least."

She just tilts her head back, her wavy hair falling out of her eyes. "Okay, sure. I'll have uh- those fancy really fluffy pancakes you make. Please."

Nodding contently, I move my hand to her face, cupping the side of her neck and gently rubbing her jaw with my thumb. "Thank you,"

She gives me a sleepy smile.

Climbing off my lap, she smooths her hands over her wrinkled pajamas, before glancing up at me. "I think I'm going to hop in the shower while you make that."

When I open my mouth to protest, or at least offer to shower with her that way I know she won't slip again, she interjects, "The door will be wide open, I'll call you if I feel even slightly off, and the second I get dizzy I'll sit down so I don't hit my head again. I'm okay."

Letting out an anxious breath, I decide to trust her. "Um- yeah, that sounds good. I'll just be in the kitchen,"

She presses a kiss to her pointer and middle finger, before pressing them to my lips. "I love you."

"Love you most." I mumble, watching her walk into the bathroom, my eyes following her every move.

A second later I can hear the shower start and, once again, I've shrouded in this unsettling feeling, like something is gonna happen again.