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"Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always'"- The Fault In Our Stars


Cassidy Jones picture in the media box to the side or up>^


People say that losing someone is the hardest thing you can go through in life.

I guess they speak from experience. I don't know how it feels to lose someone. I've never lost someone who meant so much to me, so I can't truly say I understand how someone would feel if that was to happen.

Maybe it feels like a thousand sharp knives going straight through you.

Maybe it feels like you can't breath anymore.

Or maybe it feels like you've just lost everything by losing that one person.

I've grown up living with my wealthy parents. We were the wealthiest people on our block. Not that we ever bragged, or made our neighbours feel unworthy, it's just both my parents have really good jobs. My dad is a surgeon and my mom is a professor at Lenwood Academy. They both work very hard for their money and I hardly get to see them.

I'm always home alone since I'm an only child, things get pretty quiet in this huge house. It's a three story, with 3 bathrooms, 5 bedrooms, (don't know why we have so many rooms when I'm an only child) and a home theatre room, a game room down the hall from there, a heated pool in the backyard and an art room.

The art room is my favourite part of the whole house. It's on the third floor and has an amazing lookout of the lake. Our house is situated near a lake and we always go down there nearly every week and camp out. That's like the only time me and my family ever see each other. We just go down there once a week.

I always thought that not seeing your parents so much was cool. You'd get to live life how you want, throw parties at home, come home late, but it's been like that since I was like, ten years old so I gotta say I'm used to it now.

I don't like being alone, but I understand that they do have to work to keep a roof on top of our heads and to provide for me.

Anyway, back to what I was saying earlier about losing someone. I've never experienced the pain of losing someone.

So here I am sitting in the hospital corridors, waiting for his surgery.


Who is he?

And why has he become so important to me in such a short period of time? I can't even begin to think of what I'd do without him in my life.

The hospital was unusually quiet. Occasionally, I would hear coughs coming from one of the rooms where the patients are, and the nurses sitting behind the desks whispering amongst each other.

My dad was in the operating room. My dad said no one would do his surgery except for him. I was kind of relieved because I trusted my dad more than any of the other surgeons. Not just because his my dad, but because he's been doing this for nearly 20 years and he has experience.

"Miss Jones?"

I lifted my head up upon hearing my name as I saw a tall, scrawny, male nurse standing there.


It's weird, hearing my voice sounding so strained and weak. I felt like I hadn't heard my voice in years.

"Your dad said the surgery will be done in about a half hour, so you can go home and come back in the morning when he's awake."

Just hearing him say he'll wake had me let out a smile. It was small, however, a smile.

I looked past the nurse's shoulder at the clock that hang on the wall and squinted trying to read the time. The hallways were dark as it was past 2am and it was all the way at the other end of the hall.

"Okay." I stood up and began walking towards the exit.

As I stepped outside, I was greeted by the cold wind and heavy rain. I almost forgot that it's been raining all night.

I pulled the hoodie of my jumper over my head as I made a run for it towards my car. It was like the only one in the visitors car park. Only I'm allowed to stay for after hour visits because my dad works here.

I fumbled through my bag for my car keys. As soon as I found them i hurriedly got inside and turned on the heater. I took a deep breath and fixed the rear view mirror to my face.

As soon as I saw the red, puffiness around my eyes and the tired look on my face, I broke down into tears. I sat there in my car, in the rain, crying for who knows how long. I didn't want anything to happen to him.

Please God, just let me see his beautiful smile one last time.

I kept chanting that all the way back home.

Firstchapter. Hopeyouguyslikeit. Pleaseleaveacommentandavote, I'mreallyexcitedaboutthisbookxthanks :)

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