Chapter 11

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Noel's Point Of View

All last night, I thought about what's going to happen tomorrow, which is today. Will it go bad? Did I make the right choice? Does it mean he likes me?

I cringed at the last thought. He couldn't like me. He doesn't know me. How can he like a girl who spends her life in her bedroom, dreaming of ways to get that one person she loves back? He wouldn't.

I decided to get dressed. I don't know where we're going, so I just put on a blue t-shirt, black shorts, and slipped on a blue flannel on my shoulders. I put on some black toms.

Toms are my life.

I brushed my hair and put on some mascara and eyeliner. I went downstairs and sat on the couch. Aunt Cathy walks into the room.

"Oh, who are you dressed up for?" She laughed.

"Luke," I mumbled.

"You're finally giving him a chance?" She asked.

"Unfortunately," I said.

She laughed. "He's a nice guy. Just give him some time and he'll show you."

I looked at her and narrowed my eyes. "I did that for Landon and he's six feet under the ground."

"Noel, you need get over him," She said. "There's so many things happening around you that you're missing. So many opportunities for you to start a new life and you're focused on someone who won't come back. I'm sorry that happened. I think it's time for you to be happy."

I cringed at what she said. I'm afraid to be happy, afraid that it'll be gone. I don't want to be happy. I'm good being this depressed person who isolates themselves away from the world and who's in their own world. I don't focus on anything, even myself.

The doorbell rings and I cursed to myself. I wished he came in an hour or two. I opened the door, only to be someone else.

"Hi, are you Noel Dawson?" The man asked.

I nodded my head slowly. "Yeah, what do you want?"

"I'm being requested for you to come with me. You're not getting killed or anything," He said, trying to joke with me, but I wasn't laughing.

I said goodbye to Aunt Cathy and followed the man to his car. He helped me inside and we drove off to a unknown place.

Where the hell are we going?

We pull up to this house, a huge house. The man helps me out of the car and drives down the street, away from me and the house. It looked like a boyfriend getting pissed at his girlfriend, than leaving her on the street.

Someone opens the door and Luke comes out.

"This seems a little extreme, don't you think?" I said, annoyance in my voice.

Luke chuckled. "I wanted it to be romantic."

"Well, it wasn't for me," I snapped. "Sorry."

He shrugged it off and lead me into his house. It was big for only him. Or if he lived with someone else.

"Uh," I said. "Is it just you?"

Luke nodded. "No. I live with my mom, but I usually have friends over, so I don't get lonely. You can sit down. I'll be right back."

I took a seat on the leather couch. This room is big. It's filled with music-related things, like guitars and such. He must be into music that much.

Luke walks back into the room. "Noel, are you hungry?"

"Yeah," I said and followed him into the kitchen. It's about the size of the living room, only bigger. Luke pulls my chair out for me and I thank him. "This looks good."

"I'm a cooker," He said, laughing. "I don't do it often, since I'm alone."

"There's someone out there who'll let you cook for them," I said, slightly mumbled.

"Enough about me," Luke said. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, uh, what do you want to know?" I asked.

"Anything," He laughed. "I just want to get to know you. You seem.. interesting."

"How?" I asked.

"I don't have an answer for that," He laughed. "I mean, you're happy one day and sad, the next. I don't know."

"Bipolar disorder," I said. "My mood changes violently and rapidly."

"Lauren told me you have depression," He said.

I dropped the fork and watched as it fell to the ground, making a clang. I was careful to not make eye contact, but I did anyway.

"Uh, yeah," I said.

"It's alright," He said. "What's it like?"

"What's what like?" I asked.

"What's depression like?" He asked, whispering.

"Depression is like drowning, except you can see everyone around you breathing," I said.

"I'm sorry," He said.

"No, it's fine," I said. "Look, I don't want to talk about it. I think it's time for me to go."

"Can we hang out tomorrow?" He asked.

I nodded. I gave him a small hug and walked outside his house. I remembered I was driven here, but I liked the idea of walking.

After about thirty minutes, I've arrived home. I took a shower, changed my clothes, and crawled into bed. For the first time, I actually smile, and I was glad.




- Meep

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