The Road To Her New Life

"It hurts so much"

"Nai, wake uppppp!" I hear a voice in my ear. I push their face away and groan into my pillow. I heard some laughing in the background. It's quiet for a while untilI felt myself falling to the ground.

"Ahhhhhh! Benji leave me alone!" I shout in frustration. I knew it was wrong as soon as it came out of my mouth. I look to see all the boys in my room, shocked looks in their faces.

"We were trying to call you down for breakfast," Jmiere spoke quietly looking down.

I just looked down silently. What was I supposed to say? Out of nowhere my whole life changed around, my family is dead and I live with 6 strangers. One of their names was going to come up eventually, I can't just go around acting like I don't feel a piece of myself missing.

I miss the chaos every morning, Benji annoying me and trying to 'flirt' with my friends , Mom letting me rant to her or yelling at us to clean her house. Or my dad, well 'step-dad' I guess, yelling at us to shut up because he's on the phone or shouting across the house, asking us what we wanted to eat.

I realized that I haven't said anything, "Umm.. give me a second so I can get dressed," I shooed them out of my room. When they were all finally gone I burst into tears, I threw myself on my bed and sobbed into my pillow trying to keep quiet.

It felt like I laid there for hours letting out all of my emotions. Tears of anger, agony, pain, frustration, and sadness. I knew it was going to hit me sooner or later. After a few minutes of trying to calm myself I got up and headed to the bathroom.

That's how it is, life keeps going and you have to keep moving. Time isn't going to stop itself for you. Mom, dad, and Benji would want me to keep living. So I have to do it for them.

With this newfound determination I get up to take a shower. If I don't come downstairs soon one of them will come up. I grab some black sweatpants and a grey cami. I take a shower my mind filled with thoughts.

After my shower I get dressed and put on some foundation to attempt to cover the bags under my eyes. I decided to leave my hair down, so I just combed it and put some leave-in conditioner on it. I add a few hair clips and put on some mascara to make it look like I wasn't just bawling my eyes out.

I head downstairs and out on a fake smile, "Good morning," I chirped, avoiding looking anyone in the eye. That sounded so fake! I make some cereal humming to myself, pretending like nothing happened. I put the cereal first then the milk. That's how you make it, fight me.

I take my bowl to a barstool and sit down like everyone else. I say a quick prayer thanking God for my food and asking Him to give me strength to get through the day.

All of them stayed quiet not knowing what to say. I continued to eat my fruit loops ignoring the world. They kept hesitating to talk and I didn't feel like speaking anyway so we just ate in silence.