Dedication: DearNicole for the awesome cover on the side - thanks heaps! :D
I watched her eyes flash angrily. I let my eyes avert from hers, so that she couldn't have any access to my feelings. I watched her feet as she turned on her heel and marched from me. I didn't move from my position for several moments, just replaying the previous scene, over and over, through my brain. I sighed and rested my elbows on my knees, running my hands roughly across my face. Last night, I had had a lapse of weakness. I let my annoying feelings for her allow me to kiss her. Which screwed me up completely.
I don't date girls. Sometimes I'll get with one, yeah, but it never means anything. No matter how much they say they like me, or how I make them feel, I'm emotionless. Well, I was. Apparently, my body doesn't run the same around her.
I don't even know how to explain how I feel when I think her name. All I see is her long, brunette hair twisting down her back which just screams at me to run my hands through it. I see her tanned legs, that seem to go on forever. I see her slim waist and slender arms. Her bright, green eyes seem so void of emotion, I have to do a double take.
I know she is damaged, hell, probably even more then I was. But the look of hurt she had on her face, when I walked away from her, would burn in my skull for eternity.
She'd never admit it, but it did hurt.
It hurt to walk from her, but if I had stayed any longer, I wouldn't have been able to stop. Things would have gone way further then I could allow them too. I didn't want her to be open to all my problems.
Being with someone, involves trusting the other person. Trust and I aren't even in the same playing field. How could I let her know, everything I have done and trust her to not run? I don't think I could handle it if she did.
Okay, so I know that hooking up with her doesn't mean we have to have a picnic, discussing our secrets and braiding each other's hair or anything, but still. The feelings I had for her, were wanting more than just a 'hook up'.
I didn't want to tell her anything about me and have her feel sorry for me, like everyone else does. I'm sick of the pity and I couldn't handle receiving it from her. I ran my hand through my hair, aggravated. I stood slowly, shaking my head. I wanted to go make myself a beast of a feed, but I know my step-ass*ole would be there, lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce. I was too vulnerable right now.
Okay, I'm being slightly dramatic here, but with my reputation of anger rages and black outs, with Hayley and the kids here, it wouldn't be safe.
I pinched the skin in between my eyes and exhaled heavily. I knew inviting Hayley here would be a mistake, although I went ahead and did it anyway.
I was regretting letting her in this close, every second, already.
"Good morning!" Miranda sang as I waddled into the kitchen.
"Not really," I muttered, brushing past her.
I fetched myself some bread and jammed it in the toaster. I ignored her stares and rested heavily on the bench. My eyes were stinging from the lack of sleep I had last night. Since my issues with Colin remain unresolved, my brain kept thinking about them. It's like my mind is stuck on replay. I just keep visualising what happened in the kitchen. How alive he made me feel. And then, what happens? He walks. Walks away from me, leaving me hurt and confused.
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#1 Action | #1 Teen Fiction | #1 Young Adult | #1 Romance Hayley Larson is the girl everyone wants to be. She is a model, has amazing friends and has the perfect life. All of this is, until her father is brutally murdered. Her perfect life spins out...