13. Such a waste

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A/N: Hey and sorry x) I know it's very stupid to keep apologizing yet doing it again... but I can't change it. I'll try to update every sunday again and I really hope it's going to work out... but well, I hope you enjoy this one :)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Sauli:

While I was walking home I imagined different scenarios of the things that might happen when I enter my home. I came up with the weirdest ideas of what my parents could answer. Also a lot of really scary ones and these ideas made me want to turn around again and walk back to Adam. I kind of planned the whole conversation which meant that I would probably be screwed if they wouldn’t answer how I planned it. Which was just the stupidest thing I could do, but I couldn’t stop either. The walk home felt like an eternity and with every step my knees got weaker and I felt like I would fall to the ground any second. Why was I so nervous? I already told them everything about me and I walked home to mainly hear them speak now. Maybe I was just scared of how they would react. The fact that they said that they aren’t my parents anymore still made me want to cry to death and I wouldn’t know what I would do if they would tell me again. If they were still totally against everything that I was I would be screwed. What should I do if that would happen? They would probably kick me out and then I would be on my own. I wouldn’t know where to go. I mean I was sure I could stay at Adam’s apartment for at least a few days, he would definitely offer to stay there as long as I wanted but that wasn’t quite what I wanted. And even though I was eighteen years old and practically an adult, of course I still needed my parents. I loved them no matter how they had treated me the day before. Or how they would treat me in the coming future. But the worst part of all that, if they really wanted to never see me again, the reason was nothing but myself and the person that I am. When I finally arrived on our ground I walked through the front yard and I opened the door by unlocking the lock with the key I carried with me in my pocket. I closed the door behind me and looked around our big corridor, trying to hear anything to give me a hint where my parents were or what they were doing. But there was nothing. It was complete silence in the house.

I walked through the corridor, trying to be as quiet as possible. The sound of the steps I took was barely audible. When I walked pass the living room I noticed my mother sitting on the sofa and reading her favorite book. She already read it like hundred times but she loved it so much. She always kept talking about it but since we moved here and her work got more stressful she didn’t really had the time to read it again and that’s why she didn’t talk about that. I always loved how her eyes lit up when she talked about something she loved, it was always easy to tell when she was really happy or not. And that’s something I missed in the past few months. She barely talked about anything anymore, only when it involved her work. She had her back towards me which is why she hadn’t noticed me yet. It was so weird that she laid there so peacefully when just the day before she had the worst fight with her son. I couldn’t believe it myself. She was always so nice and caring and it really scared me when she was this furious and serious about everything she said barely twenty-four hours earlier. When I slowly entered the room the excitement inside of me grew with every passing second. The fear was unbearable.

I tried to say something but it was like my mouth was glued together, I couldn’t manage to get anything out. But I didn’t stop walking towards her. Step by step I came closer and my feet hit the ground with no sound filling the air. But then it happened. A weird creaking noise appeared from under my feet and my eyes snapped wide open. Fuck. My mother turned around in shock and stared at me. I probably scared her way too bad considering the look she gave me.

“S-Sorry. I didn’t mean to s-scare you.” I stuttered and stood still. I could hear my heart beating in my ears. So pathetic.

“Where were you?” She asked and frowned.

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