Chapter 42 - but we should get on a plane or we'll be missing it now.

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Edited.

*Niall*

I wake up feeling like shit if I'm honest. Harry is still unconscious, and he's sleeping on top of me now, he moves around as if he's actually asleep.. but he's in like.. a coma thing. I'm not sure but I want him back.

I haven't been practising football for the past month or so.. since I ended the tour, dropping out.. the games have come to an end this week.. so I hope no one visits because I'm quite happy sat here with an unconscious boy in my arms as he slowly rises over the course of a couple days or weeks from his coma! Wow. That actually is a rather nice way of putting it.

But all I can think about is how much this is my fault, it's all because of me, I hurt him the most when he really needed me, with his dads passing, the funeral! He still has that to attend, I doubt he'll be fit enough to though. I think what crushed him most was he really loved me and I really loved- no, I really love him.

What's not to love about Harry? He's adorable and cute when he wakes up, he always has this random piece of hair sticking up in the same place and how he thinks his breath smells when it never does, he still smells perfect and looks perfect, even when he had just woke up. It never mattered to me, he's my baby boy and I love him more than the air I breathe, more than... my mum.

The thought of my mum brings tears to my eyes, my dad never even talks to me anymore, and I'd love for him to meet Harry, but he's not here. Never is.

I love Harry more than my mum, I really do, I feel as if he's all the family I have left. Yes, I consider Harry my family, if he wasn't around I don't know what I'd do, he's just an amazing boy who I love more than anything. I remember meeting him for the first time; he was so nervous, kept stuttering and he was so cute, but I practically used him and I feel terrible for that but after that incident, he forgave me and I slowly fell in love with him, I still remember kissing him for the first time. I find it hard to believe I had the courage to kiss him, he wasn't my first kiss, but I was his' and I'm happy I had the opportunity to be that for him.

Then our first time together, it was mine and he didn't even know, I just wanted him to be completely relaxed, that's why I asked him if he'd really never fucked someone! I couldn't believe he hadn't if I'm honest, but our first time was such a pleasure for me, and him, the control I kept myself under was ridiculous, I just didn't want to hurt him, but the next day, we both knew it was inevitable.

He moves around in the hospital bed lying on top of me, because I just woke up, I must look a state, I should probably tell Gemma that Harry is ok! She must of been so scared when she went back home to find he was gone!

I reach for my phone and quickly unlock it, already finding tons of messages.

Gemma: is Harry ok? Please tell me u have him!

Niall?

R U there?

Did u find him or not?!?!?

I finally text her back letting her know her brother is alright, that I have him, he's safe, I tell her that I found him trying to kill himself and that he's in the hospital which I've been with him the entire time.

She tells me she'll be there as fast as she can just to see him.

Soon enough the nurse comes in with some toast and a bottle of water.

"I brought you these knowing that you're here," she places them down on the chair next to the bed, "did he move much through the night, I assume you'd of been wise and slept but if not..." she trails off checking Harry's pulse in his wrist.

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