An Open Sky

Chapter Forty-Two ~Alexa~

“Are you okay?” I asked. Jay had been tense and pacing for over an hour.

                “It’s getting cold.” He paused to run his hand over his face. He let out a sigh and continued, “I hate cold is all.”

                I got up and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his chest, resting my head on his shoulder. My ear throbbed from the wind. My fingers stiffened against the thin fabric of his shirt. He was right. Winter was coming on fast.

                “Maybe we should go inside.” I pulled on his arm, but he stayed leaning against the tree. “Come on, my dad’s not home. It’s fine.”

                “I know, I just…” He exhaled slowly. “I just wanted to show you something.”

                “Show me something? Show me what?” He pulled me to him.

                “If I told you it wouldn’t be as much fun.” All the cold left me as his fingers twined through mine. “Follow me.”

                I stayed close behind as he led me through the trees. I wondered what the wolves thought, what they felt, as they drifted through the intimidating figures themselves.

                I stopped just short of smacking into Jay’s back. The edge of his scar was just showing at the edge of his shirt. Something just wasn’t right…

                “Jay?”

                “Yeah?” He started walking again. I hoped he knew where he was going because I was hopelessly lost. I could see his eyebrows knit from where I was behind him.

                “Where’s the scar from?” I blurted.

                “What?” He kept walking as if he hadn’t heard the question.

                “The scar on your back. The gun-snake thing. Where’d you get it?”

                “Oh, uh, I, I’ll tell you later, okay?” He stuttered, pulling me behind him.

                “Jay, is everything okay?” I could practically hear the thoughts racing around in his head. His hand tightened on mine and he turned to face me.

                “Do you love me? Like love me?” His eyes searched me. I wasn’t quite sure what he was looking for.

                “Of course.” I cupped my hand on his cheek. “Why would you think I didn’t?”

                “Just say it.”

                “Say what?” He let go of my hand, pacing around the nearest tree.

                “That you love me.”

                “Jay, I love you. Are you sure everything is okay?” I stepped toward him.

                “It’s fine.” He paused and turned to me. He took a step back, like I’d hit him. His fingers twined tightly through his dark hair. Practically every strand was visible to me against his ghostly white skin. “No, I—“ Another pause.

                “Jay, just say it.” I smiled, his anxiety filling my own stomach.

                “Let’s get out of here.”

                “What?” He was toying with the bark on the tree until it broke off into his hand. He threw it to the ground, cursing under his breath.

                “Just you and me. We can leave, Alex. You hate it here, I hate it here; we’ve got nothing to lose.” I could tell he’d been thinking about it for a long time. He pressed his forehead to the tree. “Please just leave with me.” It wasn’t a question. He was begging me to leave with him, like he had no other option.

                “Jay, I don’t know,” I stuttered. I was too shocked to think anything through. My dad. Aidan. They’d all be gone. Maybe it would be for the better. I’d stop messing things up.

                Jay grabbed my arms; I looked up into his eyes. They were like the night, like the darkness that disappears every morning, like the darkness I’d always been terrified of, yet of that I longed to return to. But I couldn’t. There was too much unknown. There was too much to lose, but did I even have it to begin with?

                “Jay, I can’t. Not now. Just give me some time to think…”

                “I don’t have time, Alex.” His voice was suddenly hard. He released me, running his hands through his hair. He gripped the tree again.

                “What do you mean? Jay, what’s going on?”

                “You said you love me.” He kept staring at his sneaker. “If you do, you’ll come with me.”

                “Jay, that’s crazy.” My mind told me to run, but my body couldn’t leave him. I wanted to go. I longed to be with him, alone. My stomach churned with the thought that he wanted me with him, forever. There’d be no rules, no one holding us down. But there would also be no future. I had nowhere to go. It’s not like a career is an option at eighteen.

                “Please Alex…” His voice was like a whisper.

                “Jay, I can’t. You have to know that. Maybe in a few months or after graduation…” He tensed. “Jay, I love you, but I can’t do this, not now. I’m sorry.”

                He looked up at the stars that were appearing above us. The darkness was returning. I hadn’t realized how late it’d gotten.

                “Me too,” were the last words I heard. He leapt at me. I could feel the shock of my body hit the cold forest floor below me. The force impact racked through my body like a wave through water. My cries pierced the air around us. I didn’t have enough time to wait for a reaction. The night stayed silent, only interrupted by the haphazard cries of animals that blended in with mine. The only witnesses to my betrayal, and they were mute to the world.  

                I was already gone.