I stood in front of my wardrobe staring at the items of clothing that were new and neglected still attached to their price tags and some covered in material because they were from some other part of the world. My wardrobe just reflected a bit of my mum's obsession for fashion. She would starve herself to save some money just to by a pair of boots, i know extreme but good thing we haven't been in the situation where money has been lacking. Dad made sure to supply it even if Mum worked.
Life is hard.
Its tough.
But I wasn't going to let that stop me from living.
Living with him?
What am I thinking? This is just a walk. A walk with him, seems like one of the biggest things I have to do even though it just means that i have to walk one step behind or in front of him, or even beside yet it seemed like an impossible task. Being with him is impossible because he is bipolar, one minute he is nice, next he is a total asshole, so i don't know what to expect. What if he told me that he was going to forget what happened and wants to be left alone or what if he told me that he loved me. Love? What am i thinking? Blake, Love? That's the most dumbest thing I have thought, ever. He doesn't do relationships, let alone love. He just hooks up with girls and that's it because that's all he can does or is capable of doing.
I quickly unwrapped the towel away from my body throwing it onto my bed as i pulled on a blue strapless bra and matching bottoms when I heard my bedroom door open. I froze. There he stood eyes bulging out of his sockets.
"Uh...I-I'm sorry-y, i-i er" He quickly closed the door leaving me flushed.
You could have toasted bread on my face. I don't know why I'm over reacting like its not like he hasn't seen me like this before. He has seen me with nothing. But I'm glad that he apologised which kind of made me think positively of the walk.
I slipped on a long blue top that hid my short denim shorts and slipped on some white gladiator sandals, before I drew my hair back into a loose ponytail letting some strands fall and frame my face. I added some eyeliner and mascara and lipgloss and patted blusher on my cheeks before i grabbed my purse and headed downstairs.
He was sitting on the sofa watching TV. A Greek god in my living room. His hair was ruffled and messy,but sexy messy, he was wearing a blue shirt with a pair of denim that hung loosely on his hips. We matched. I smiled at this. He turned around to look at me as he heard my footsteps down the stairs. As I came to the bottom of the staircase, he was standing up.
"I'm really sorry, I should have knocked, I-er I'm really sorry." He rubbed his neck in embarrassment with a sheepish smile.
"It's ok, its not like you..." I trailed off awkwardly, now i look like a major loser. I'm so so so dumb...Ahhh, I thought. I turned my head to hide my red, tomato-red face, I wish i had my hair out so I could at least hide behind that.
I heard him chuckle, I turned around looking at him questioningly.
"You look cute when you blush." He simply said smiling.
If I was blushing before I was sunburnt this time. I grabbed the keys and slipped my coat on and stepped into the sunshine. I walked down the path to the road and waited.
I heard the door shut and soon later I felt him next to me.
"Where to I asked? " Looking at a woman walking her dog, well jogging her dog with great interest. I was simply avoiding to have to look at him. Looking into those breath-taking eyes that would just set my heart into a pace no other man could. Why was a being lovey dovey around him? I blame too much sleep.
"There's a park down the road, we should go there." He said before starting to walk towards our destination. I simple followed him, making sure I was behind him. I pulled out my iPod and randomly selected a song and listened as I stared at his ass. Yes, I know, this is the worst thing one could do is stare at the ass of the dude that just happened to be the one that took your virginity with permission. I pried my eyes off and stared into the sky.
"Candice, ermm its this way." He said amused.
I smiled at him sheepishly. I hadn't realised that he had stopped.
We walked through the gates. The grass seemed greener standing next to him. The trees seemed taller. The laughter around us was louder. The happiness was more powerful. Everything changed simply standing next to him.
We started to walk down a lane that seemed deserted as it wasn't as popular as the children's play area. I waited for him to start, I didn't know why i was here, ok i know its about what happened. but I didn't know what we could do to get back 'my' virginity'.
I felt a warm hand wrap around mine, tangling our fingers. I gasped at the warmth as I looked into his eyes. He smiled, his eyes full of something, something strong and everlasting, something that made my body shiver in lust. I blushed. I think my blush gave him confidence as he opened his mouth to talk before closing it to think and then opening it again.
"We should talk about what happened." Trailing off as though expecting me to just confide in feelings about this, but I simply nodded. He sighed at my lack of speech.
"Your my best mate's sister, and you can imagine how Michael would react to what happened. I would be dead and I can't loose my friendship. You are always going to be my best friend's sister. "
As he said this, my world came crashing down on me, everything around me faded it was just him opening and closing his mouth, but i couldn't hear anything. He didn't want me. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. He didn't care. He doesn't want to take responsible. He didn't...he didn't want anything to do with me. I choked on my saliva and tears started to load in my eyes.
Before I heard:
"I don't regret it, i want to be with you. I like you, may be even more."
