i know, you know, we know

Chapter 13

The first time Lisa feels like she might actually projectile vomit on another person's shirt, it almost happens because of Chahee.

She doesn't have anything against the woman. After all, she's Jennie's best friend, her other half, her gosh darn wife.

Yeah.

In hindsight, Lisa thinks as she tries not to throw a phone that probably costs more than her entire liver, getting Chaeyoung's stan account just to check on how the fans are doing is the worst idea she's ever had. She forgot that the entire reason why she's spending most of the day in the dance studio has everything to do with the fact that it's Chahee's birthday today and Jennie's out celebrating it with her. So, when she looked Jennie up on Twitter, ready to beat down any hate she might see, Lisa found herself being assaulted by hundreds of photos of Chahee and Jennie together, the Blinks raving about their connection, and people actually saying her girlfriend is Chahee's wife.

And, like, Lisa knows she's being irrational or stupid or, god forbid, jealous. She knows that her girlfriend wouldn't be so happy with her if Jennie found out that she's resorted to writhing pathetically on the floor of a dance studio in her attempt to wrestle with her sudden lapse of maturity. She knows there's literally nothing to be worried about considering Jennie stayed with her last night, unwilling to spend time away from her unless absolutely necessary.

She knows all of that.

But, apparently, knowing something doesn't necessarily mean that she can rationalize away the unpleasant twisting in her stomach.

Lisa grimaces at the feeling and throws an arm over her face, exasperated at herself.

"What are you doing?" Chaeyoung asks as she walked back into the studio after getting herself a snack. "Why are you on the floor? Why do you look like you're wearing wet socks?"

Lisa looks up at her with a pout on her face, glad that Chaeyoung decided to come with her after she wrapped up her own schedule.

"I think—" she groans as she heaves herself up to a sitting position. "Just... Just take your phone away from me, please."

Chaeyoung raises an eyebrow as she takes her phone, and Lisa thinks she must really look as pathetic as she feels. "Were you getting hate again? I told you it wasn't a good idea."

"No, no, it's not that," she mumbles, a little embarrassed about her reaction.

She'd never really considered herself to be a jealous person. Sure, she'd felt it a handful of times before, but it never lasted long enough for her to figure out what to do when it turns into something completely irrational. She's aware of what jealousy can do, aware that she might do something stupid just to soothe her insecurities, aware that she could attempt to chain Jennie down so that she'll never have to feel like this again.

"Oh," Chaeyoung's quiet surprise drags her out of her thoughts.

She looks up only to find her scrolling through her phone and probably figuring what crawled up her butt and settled down in her guts. "Yeah," she mumbles. "I already know it's stupid. Please don't tease me."

Chaeyoung muffles a giggle behind her hand at her dramatics.

"Chaeng," Lisa whines and closes her eyes, not really in the mood to be ridiculed even though she feels absolutely silly.

"Sorry, sorry," she hears Chaeyoung say, her amusement evident in her voice. "You do know that you have nothing to be jealous about, right? Jennie-unnie's head over heels for you."

Lisa can't help the warmth that blooms in her chest, but she hates that it does nothing to suffocate the jealousy in her stomach. "I know. That's why I said I'm being stupid. I don't even know what happened. It's not like it's anything new. Nini always spends Chahee-unnie's birthday with her. I don't know why I'm feeling like this or why it won't go away. It's embarrassing, like standing-in-front-of-crowd-naked embarrassing."