Chapter 8

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"Another 4 shots please Joe" Carina said as she stumbled into the bar "Carina you are already pretty drunk" Joe warned "I'm not driving anywhere please just these shots and then I will go" the doctor confirmed "okay these are the last ones" Joe said handing Carina the shots before the brunette grabbed them and walked back to where Maya was sitting at the table.

"You okay Carina" Maya asked as the brunette downed the 4 shots in front of her "I just lost a 6 year old little boy Maya of course I am not okay" Carina said "Have you never lost a little kid before" Maya asked earring a shake of the head from the brunette "In London there was a peds emergency where all the kids went when they were injured I only ever worked on adults and when I was in OB I never lost a baby" Carina said "so today was the first time" the doctor said putting her head down on the table "Zac" Maya said "Zac" Carina questioned lifting her head up from the table and looking at the blonde confused "Zachary James Weston was the first little kid I ever lost" Maya started to explain "it was my second week as a lieutenant, we were called to a house fire we got everyone out or so we thought that was until Zac's mum ran up to me and told me her little boy was in the house still" Maya said taking a deep shaky breath before talking again

"I ran back into the house up the stairs and found the little boy lying on the floor in his room I took my mask off and put it over his face before scooping him up and running him outside. As soon as we got outside I laid him on the floor and realised he wasn't breathing I started CPR whilst Miller got the defibrillator, we hooked him up and shocked him 3 times before we finally got a heart beat" The captain explained fighting off the tears coming into her eyes. "He coded 4 time en route to the hospital and I did everything I possibly could to get that little boy back into his mothers arms but he coded a fifth time and I tried for 45 minutes to get that little boy back but I couldn't save him" Maya said tears falling down her cheeks "he was 4 years old, A 4 year old boy died because I couldn't save him, the truth is Carina you can't save everyone as much as we want to and as much as we try to we just can't, you will never forget loosing that little boy but the guilt and the sadness will go away eventually and you move on and continue saving the lives you can".

"Oh Maya... I'm so sorry" Carina said rounding the table to pull the blonde into a hug "no I am sorry you have to go through this but I am with you every step of the way okay" Maya said "I need to go home to bed" Carina said "I'll come with you, just to make sure you get home safe" Maya said "thank you Bambina" Carina said standing up and holding her hand out for the captain who happily took a hold of it and let the brunette lead her out of the bar.

"Carina.. are you okay" Arizona said as she appeared in front of the two women "Si fine, thank you for covering for me this afternoon really needed it" Carina said as she felt Maya pull her hand away from her "Can we talk" Arizona asked "Maya do you mind just giving us a second please" Carina asked "Sure, I'll be waiting over there" Maya said pointing to a lamp post and walking towards it.

"Are you here because of what I said earlier" Arizona asked big smile on her face "What did you say earlier" Carina asked "About me liking you and I told you to meet me at Joe's at 8pm if you wanted to give us a try" Arizona explained "Oh Arizona I am sorry, I lost a little boy today and I just came here to drink the guilt away" Carina explained "Oh my bad no worriers enjoy the rest of your night" the blonde said "Arizona wait.. we still have to work together when you Sub at 19 can we be friends" Carina asked "Eventually we can but for right now i just need to not see you" Arizona said before walking into the bar.

"Ready to go" Maya asked as Carina appeared in front of her "please I need to sleep for the next 15 hours" Carina said laughing softly "Captain you okay" Andy asked as she stopped in front of the two women, "I am okay, Carina had a bit to much to drink I am going to make sure she gets home safe, I will see you at work on Monday" Maya said as she put Carina into a cab following close behind her.

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