Uh- trigger warning/content warning- idk- anyways this thing you are about to read is probably the most cursed piece I've ever wrote.
*read in Southern male accent* Once upon a time I was having a barbecue with my dear wife Peaches and her beautiful son Tonker. I was just about to shove one hotdog up my dog's ass but I decided that was a bad idea. So instead, I shoved it up the cat's. As I shoved the hotdog up my cat's ass, I decided, it would be swell if I cooked the whole cat right up. Hot dog and all. Me and my family had a great big juicy feast. The fried cat wasn't as good as my wife peachs' asshole but it was sure mighty fine. After the supper, me and my wife peaches went to go see our cousins. We were very excited because we hadn't fucked them in while. Oh how I love the feeling of my cousin's ass on my face. It's a feeling I can't describe. Peaches is actually my cousin, we loved each other so much that we had tonker. He looks a little special due to the inbreeding, but he sure knows how to shove a finger up his own ass. He eats the poop. Last time I saw my other cousins, we had a huge ball game together. My aunt died. She got hit in the head 5 times in a row by tonker. He can't aim too well, his eyes are a little crossed. When he goes to the bathroom, piss is everywhere. I can't clean it up because I don't have toes. My meemah says I got peanut toes. But I just think they are little nubs. Peaches likes when I put milk on them. She loves the taste, she has a love for foot fungus especially when milk is present. Or a little something else if you know what I mean. Any hoolze, my cousins and I, well, we don't talk much, but when we do, it's with our bodies. We sure have fun! Last time we hung out, we went shooting, tonker got in the way tho. He's got a big head. Hard to miss. He didn't die, unfortunately. Susy died. Susy is my dear mother, she was a fine maiden. She used to chug Red Bull and swim in cow manure. What a fine lady!Anyways, we went hunting and we got 15 deer. We ended up mounting the deer heads to our trucks. And that's how I met your father. I'm gay.
I'm so sorry about that- I hope you absolutely hated it as much as me.
I wrote it while playing splatoon with my friend on discord. It was a blast. Anyways 😫💕
-karma
Not actually sorry.
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Soft Tears ◇ SoKi
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