:: Holly's POV ::
Why you wanna
Show up in a old t-shirt that I love
Why you gotta tell me that I'm looking good
Don't know what
You were thinkin'
You were doing
Moving in for a hug
Like you don't know I'm coming unglued
Why you gotta
Why you wanna
Make me keep wanting you
The radio played as I cleaned the kitchen, that's what I did when I was stressed or worried. I cleaned. I sang along with the music and wondered why Jana Kramer knew me so well at this moment in time. I had heard the song a hundred times but I had never connected to it the way I was right now. It was almost unbearable to listen to.
"Holly!" I nearly jumped out of my skin as I saw Kyle standing behind me. The tone in his voice suggested that wasn't the first time he called out to me.
"Sorry." I reached over and turned the music down, "I didn't hear you over the music."
"What are you doin?" He held his arms out gesturing to the kitchen I had pulled apart in order to clean. I froze, was he onto me? He's onto me.
"I'm just cleaning. I saw a spider and you know how I get after that." I lied to him about why I was in cleaning mode and instantly felt guilty but I knew it was for the best right now. I hated being in this situation but I didn't want to discuss anything until I actually knew what was going on.
"Just because you saw one spider doesn't mean there's a secret hidden colony of them behind the microwave." His laughter filled the kitchen, "But whatever makes you feel better."
"You never know." I forced a small smile for him as I shrugged my shoulders.
I watched as he crossed the kitchen and made his way over to me. He was wearing his uniform and I was suddenly aware that it was already time for him to head to work. I was more than thankful for that, I was going to get a break from this façade I'm being forced to maintain for the time being; I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep it up. I just didn't have it in me.
"I'm headed to work." He placed a brief kiss on my lips, "You're going to be hanging out with Macy?"
"Yeah." I nodded, "We're going to grab some drinks or something."
"Be safe." He instructed and I bobbed my head letting him know I heard him, "I'll see you later."
Again I forced a smile for him, hoping he was still buying it. Before he turned to walk out of the kitchen he kissed my forehead the same way Sam had at Flannigan's. Yet even Kyle's simple kiss hadn't affected me the way Sam's had. I had to wonder if it was the surprise of the gesture that had sent the sparks over me or if it was simply the bearer of the kiss.
Once I had heard the front door open and then close I immediately let out a sigh of relief. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from me, just breathing seemed easier. I knew the feeling of relief was only going to be temporary unless I got this whole mess sorted out. At this point, that was proving to be much easier said than done. I didn't know who I am supposed to listen to, my head or my heart because one of them is going to steer me in the wrong direction.
My phone had gone off with a text message and I was glad for the momentary distraction. It's true what they say, we are our own worst enemies and if I'm left alone with my thoughts for too long there is no telling what's going to happen. I'm sure the answers I'm looking for are much simpler than I can even imagine, however I'm not in the business of breaking hearts and I wasn't looking forward to someone ending up hurt in the end.
Macy: Meet u there @ 7
After reading her text I looked at the clock on my cell phone. 5:30. Shit. I was already running out of time. My kitchen was still somewhat disheveled and I had to put it back together before I could hop in the shower then endure the daunting task of finding something to wear. Guys don't know how tough we actually have it as girls. Sometimes I envied the ease of the shower and go lifestyle men were so lucky to have.