Ever since me and Austin had our date, we've been living on cloud nine. That's what everyone around us was saying. Saying those 3 words really do change everything. Living on this cloud has been wonderful, but being on it blocks out things and puts whatever happened before on hold.
The whole trust issue had been the least of things on our minds these last few weeks. As this aura around us is fading, I've been thinking about it more. I tried to get him to open to me by me opening up. It didn't go to well.
"I thought since we are getting more serious, I can tell you about my past relationship." I spoke up as we sat on his bed.
"You don't have to. The pass is the past."
"I know that but I feel it be nice to talk about it. I don't mind." He nodded and waited for me to speak
"I dated this boy who I thought was the one. Like we'd have this long lasting relationship. It did last longer than people suspected. Either way it ended because he cheated on me. That was another reason why I was so upset over the whole Robert thing. I knew how it felt, yet I did the same to someone"
"I know you don't feel completely okay with all that did happen, don't feel bad. He treated you bad and when that happens somebody is usually there to make it all better. Not saying cheating is good or should have happened, but that moment you me to me, I knew I had to have you. I could have waited, I just didn't want to miss my chance."
"You would have still had one. You was there for me and I fell for you." He just smiled and kissed me
"Is there anything about your pass you would like to tell me? You don't have to if you don't want to." I hoped he'd know I do want him to.
"Not much to say. I'm sure you know about the girls I've been with from school. I didn't date that many."
"Have you ever really loved a girl." I asked
"Yes, and it's you." That was how we ended up tangled in the sheets whispering I love you and the topic forgotten for the night.
"Alex, I need your help." I told him as we took a break from playing 2k
"With what?" turning to face me
"Niyah has been hinting heavily that she wants me to talk about the past. I know she thinks I don't trust her. That's not even it. I just don't know what to say to her." I confessed to him
"The truth. Tell her what she wants."
"It's not bad but I think it's stupid."
"Your feelings are not stupid. And she wouldn't think it either. Just invite her over, tell her what's on your mind and she would show you that it's okay. Maybe even get some " he told me laughing towards the end at his joke.
Later that day I climbed into Niyah's room. She was on her laptop, probably sending in more applications. She's graduating soon.
I don't want her to but she had this planed before we even got together. Can't stop her dreams.
Anyways, I just laid beside her, laying my head on her shoulder.
"Hey babe." she said kissing my head continuing what she was doing.
"Hey. " I sighed cuddling into her more.
"What's wrong?" she asked pushing the laptop away.
"Can we talk?" I sat up placing her on my lap.
"I know you want me to tell you about my past and why you think I don't trust you."
"Okay then. Tell me."
"It's not that I don't trust you. It's just.. Look I'm just scared." I finally admitted
"Why are you scared?" Grabbing my hands
"I'm scared of what I feel for you. I never felt it before. Not once. I don't want to ruin this. You mean a lot to me. I love you. "
"Austin, it's okay to be scared. I am too. I never felt this either. I may have loved someone before, but I never fell in love. Not this deep. We can do this together, yeah. It will be okay."
"I feel like the girl in a relationship that's scared to fully give me self, even if I already had." She laughed lightly
"It's okay to feel that way. It's obvious not just girls do." I smiled at her and kissed her. The many kisses we shared for the night.
I know this is really short. It's a filler chapter so yeah. Updated a lot sooner the I have been yay! lol. Anyways comment and vote. Thanks :)