Broken Strings

I never believed in soulmates.

I never believed that I was connected to a stranger. That there was an invisble string that connects two people. Two people who was destined to be each others' soulmates.

Most people know that your romantic partner is your soulmate. But there is also a platonic soulmate. The kind of person, that you never really understood why you clicked, but you just clicked. 

My mom told me that. 

She always asked me if I knew my soulmate.  I never answered her question, just because I haven't figured out who my soulmate was and I never really accepted the thought that I had one.

I was slowly believing the concept of soulmates...

"Before I met your father, I met a guy. This was still when I was in college. We haven't met in person though.

Our only connection was throught e-mails. We'll e-mail each other when we had problems or whenever we just felt like it.

We always planned on meeting up, but the timing was always off. Maybe because the world didn't want us to meet. Or maybe it wasn't the right time yet...

Although, our friendship was online, I knew that we were destined to be connected. That we were bound to meet in the future to continue on our friendship... 

We stopped contacting each other. He stopped, I didn't. 

I tried to keep in touch, and e-mailed him the stories I wanted to share. 

And those times, that's when I met your dad.

I tried reaching out to him, but he never replied."

A tear drop fell from her eyes.

"I slowly accepted, that maybe I needed to focus on my life. That he was busy. 

Years went by. Your dad and I had you. My life revolved around you. I took care of you, I gave my attention to both you and your father. 

I e-mailed him, I said that I was excited for her daughters to meet you. I was kind of hoping that you'd be friends with his children. But I never got a response from him, but I also knew that he was reading it, and he opt to not reply.

When we went overseas, I tried contacting him, I e-mailed him that we should meet up and plan a play date for you and his children.

I went to our supposed meeting place... And waited. I waited for him. I never gave up on our friendship, because I believed that he was my soulmate, that we were destined to meet each other. Because I thought that the world sent us to each other. He was my other half. I treated him as my brother, as a twin, as a best friend...

I waited for an hour? I couldn't track the time. 

To be frank, it was more painful, that I knew he went to our meeting place and saw me from afar. But he didn't approach me. I would even appriciate if he replied to my e-mails and just say that he wasn't coming.

But it was more painful that I knew he saw me, while I didn't get the chance to see him. 

 But I knew he came, he came, but he didn't show himself to me. 

I wanted to know why, but I also didn't want to bother him anymore. 

I really thought he was my soulmate. And we were connected by invisible strings. But I guess I was wrong. I guess having hope that I would meet him wasn't so wrong, but having my hopes high was very wrong.

I was slowly believing that I had a soulmate of my own, that I'll meet in the future, or I already met them but didn't know that they were my soulmate.

I was so close to believing that I had one, but I just ended up hating the thought of having one.