Chapter 9

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"SHE LOVES ME, BECKY! UR JUST A JEALOUS BITCH! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I SPEND MORE TIME WITH HER THAN YOU AND I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU!"  He yelled

That just completely killed me.

I never thought that Austin would say that to anyone..Especially me.

Tears streaming down my face 

He noticed and I saw a look of regret.

I didnt care.

"Beck I-"

"Out." 

"What?"

"I SAID GET OUT AUSTIN! I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE!" I screamed

He tried to hug me but I shoved him away

"So much for best friends and promises. You really have changed Austin. You really have. You're not the guy I became best friends with. He's gone" I whispered and  shook my head. I continued "And worst of all...I  saw the side of you I never wanted to see.."

Thats when I ran to my room and slammed the door

Right now, I dont care about anything at all except what Austin said

I couldn't take the pain, so I tore up my room completely.

My best friend...and the love of my life...Is now gone....out of my life.

I got all my clothes and threw them on the floor carelessly

All the papers on my desk, scattered on the floor

My bed flipped. My mattress on the other side of the room

I got my phone and deleted every picture of Austin.

I threw my phone on my floor and it broke.

My laptop smashed against my wall.

I looked and saw pictures of me and Austin smiling.

More tears coming out.

I took them and tore up.

Every single picture up on my wall, now confetti in the air.

Too much thoughts were in my head.

Why Austin? Why? Why did you change? I love you. 

You're not the person I fell in love with anymore...

I thought I was your best friend. 

More and more thoughts coming in my head

I fell on my messed up mattress and sobbed quietly

After everything that was happening, i didnt notice all the screaming coming out side of my room

Sarah, Alex, Robert, and Mickey screaming 'Whats going on?!' and "BECKY OPEN THE DOOR!"

I ignored them.

I saw something shine near my desk.

Thats when I realized it's my razor.

Yes, I use to cut. Why? All of my pass relationships. Austin was the only one who knew that I use to cut

Flashback 

"Becky?! Where are you?!" 

I ignored him

I dont know how he found my hiding spot

I cut. No not for attention

The tree house I found in the woods

This is the only place I can be alone

"Just one more cut" I whispered 

Thats when I heard a gasp

I jumped and it made me cut deeper than I should and let out a loud scream

Austin came running to me and held me.

I saw his face. Pure sadness, anger, and confusion.

I saw a tear left his eye

"Why?" He asked

I couldn't answer

"Becky. I can't believe you're doing this..." He said disappointingly

"Austin I-Im sorry." I sobbed.

I started crying in his chest.

I felt something dripping in my head

It's Austin's tears.

I looked up at him and wiped his tears

"Austin. Im sorry Im doing this."

"Becky. Please. Promise me you'll stop doing this and you'll never do this again"

I nodded

"No. Say you promise. We're best friends. We ALWAYS keep promises. Right?"

I nodded slightly

"I promise you Austin that Im going to stop and Ill never do this again."

I hugged him tightly.

He hesitated at first but then hugged me back.

"Im sorry." I whispered

"Its ok Becky." Is what he said and kissed my cheek

End of Flashback

He carried me all the way to my house and spent the night to make me feel better

I picked it up and examined it

I guess promises were meant to be broken

I took it and gently slit it on my wrist

It hurts so bad but also feels so good

I did another. And another. And another.

Until my door burst open

Loud gasp heard behind me.

I dropped the razor and turned

The crew.

Tears pouring out of their faces.

Im sorry.....

I ran pass them and out of my house.

I dont know where Im running to but anywhere but here.

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