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foreverjk: where there's anger there's pain.
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REAL LIFE !
jungkook tried to clear his head by going for a walk, well aware of his phone that continued to buzz and vibrate in his pocket.. he'd turn it off, but he couldn't get himself to actually do it, partially because it reminded him that there were people who cared - that there were people willing to check up on him, again and again. and he needed that, needed the reassurance more than anything.
jungkook smiled as he grabbed a sharpie from his pocket - the walk had been to let himself breathe, but there was something else he wanted to do, something that he had wanted to for awhile.
here he was standing on a bridge in the heart of seoul, on the bridge multiple words were scattered across the railings written in sharpie. jungkook wanted to add to that. wanted to contribute - wanted to let go. there had been multiple times where he had stood on the bridge, and read the words of others - the quotes essentially saving him as it had done to so many others.
he had been standing here as well the first time he had talked to the bts boys, the first time he had talked to taehyung.
taehyung.
why had he so suddenly closed off? why had he so suddenly gone against jungkook? why had he so suddenly shut him out? perhaps he had gotten tired. perhaps this was what jungkook deserved for all of the times he had shut the older out. perhaps it was just not their time. and perhaps jungkook had just been expecting too much - he always had.
a singular tear rolled down his cheek as he wrote the words that had kept him alive - words that were spilled straight from his heart.
DON'T FORGET: SOMEWHERE BETWEEN HELLO AND GOODBYE, THERE WAS LOVE, so much love. - JJK
there had been love. inbetween the pain, and the intrusive thoughts there had been love. so much love it had saved him over and over again. the love from his supporters, the love he had once received from his parents - but especially the love from namjoon.
kim namjoon. the sole reason for his existence. jungkook would never be able to put into words what joonie had done for him - what he continued to do for him. and there was no way he'd ever be able to put into words just what it all had meant for jungkook or how thankful he was for the older guy.
and then there had been taehyung. it had been awhile since jungkook had trusted someone - since he had been willing to let himself feel for someone. but he had for taehyung - and he thought that it had been going well for them, but all of a sudden taehyung just seems to have changed his mind.
truthfully jungkook hadn't thought much of it when he realized taehyung hadn't answered him since the day they had all hung out - he had assumed it was because the other had been busy - that he'd respond when he had time. and then next thing he knew, taehyung had answered in the group chat, obviously pissed off at jungkook for a reason that jungkook didn't know.
he didn't understand what he had done wrong, didn't understand what had happened. he had truthfully thought that they had recovered, that this would be the start of something good for them. but now he was no longer sure.
jungkook forced a smile upon his face as he placed himself down on the cold ground, letting his legs slip trough the gaps in the railings, letting his legs hang over the edge as he let his head rest against the bars that held him back.
no matter what he did, for some reason he'd always end up here every few months. always. perhaps it was just his thing.
"love is and will always be ruthless," jungkook mumbled, taking a picture and posting it on instagram - this time on his main, before agreeing with himself that he should probably call joonie before he got too worried. it was reaching the 2 am mark, and it had been hours since he had left the elder in silence.
INSTAGRAM !
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jungkook97: or maybe i'm just foolish. perhaps that why i always wind up in the same place.
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jiminie: stay safe kook <3
jjk33: dude it's 2 am for u what r u doing
softheartedyu: i wish we could take all of your pain away. you deserve to be happy kookie
authors note ! writers block be feeling real good rn thanks for 5k reads🤍
