Push.

1. I Don't Know If I've Ever Been Good Enough

Author's Note: Welcome to the third (and final, I think) book of the series! Thanks for sticking around. I hope you enjoy! 

1. I Don't Know If I've Ever Been Good Enough

----
"You think I'm gonna leave Scott here? After what they said?"
----

Mitch couldn't handle this. It was hard to breathe. The walls were closing in.

----
"Sweetheart... Scott isn't here. He's working, remember?" Rozzi soothed.
----

He was supposed to be getting better.

----
"No... no, he quit." His words dripped with desperation. "He quit tonight. He showed up here. He's wearing my favorite shirt of his-"
----

He told Scott he was getting better. That Scott Hoying was his only Scott. That there would be no more comparisons. He was so certain that he would win him back...

----
Rozzi was hugging him close. "Let's get you home, baby. I promise Scott is at work. We'll call him when we get home so you can speak to him, okay? You can even wait for him at our place, if you want to."
----

Now there was no chance. He knew that Fake Scott wouldn't allow it.

He was doomed to be haunted by a figment of his imagination.

Tortured by it.

Forever.

"Sit down, Mitchy. Right here, and I'll call him, okay?" Rozzi asked as they entered her apartment. Mitch shook his head, a frantic poison bubbling in his chest.

"Please don't."

She paused, glancing up from her phone just in time to see the fear flash across Mitch's face. "Okay. I won't. He'll be home soon, anyway- "

Mitch erupted from the couch at the sound of those words, making his way for the door, muttering, "No, no, no," over and over.

Kirstin caught him by the elbow, pulling him close. "Tell me what you're thinking. Please?" she whispered.

"Fake Scott is supposed to be... dead..." Mitch sobbed, letting all of his pent-up frustration go via tears against Kirstin's shoulder. "Dr. Chastain told me he wouldn't come back. He's come back twice, and I don't want him..." Mitch lost control of his voice and his sobs became empty.

Kirstin rubbed his back, trying to piece together the information. But she was at a loss for words.

"I don't want h-him anymore. I don't want him to p-pull me in deeper. I don't w-want to be... I don't want to be b-broken anymore. I don't want to be c-crazy. Don't make me go back there..."

"Mitch, no one is trying to send you back there... I thought you had wanted to see him again?"

Mitch pushed at her.

"He ruined everything. I don't want him anymore. I can't let him keep destroying me. He..."

Mitch's eyes filled with tears as his heart felt like it was being torn from his chest. He was having trouble remembering why he was so panicked in the first place. He had been searching for him for so long.

And the ache for him to be close to him again grew. To figure out what he wanted. And maybe, just maybe, to hold him in his arms again.

----
"Won't you be stuck here if you don't take your meds?"

Scott shrugged. "It isn't so bad here. Not with you."

Mitch felt the tears prickling the back of his eyes and he waited for Scott to start making fun of him as they spilled over, flowing down his cheeks as the floodgates opened.