the girl with the guitar [glee/sam evans]

chapter 65: Wonder-ful

You haven't felt right for days.
Is it the fact you never say
what comes in your mind that day? Maybe it's time to shut away
'cause I've never really felt okay.

~beabadoobee, Tired

Despite being the one to kick her mother out of the house, Violet felt empty. She shed so many tears until none would come out anymore, and then she just felt like a hollow husk.

She didn't answer anyone's calls. She didn't answer anyone's texts. To say that people were worried was an understatement. She managed to get every single Glee member, current and former, to contact her in some way, shape, or form just in case she'd answer to one of them, even the most unlikely ones.

But she didn't. She just lied there in her bed, falling in and out of sleep or staring at the wall in her line of vision. She had barely moved from that position.

One of the only people that had actually entered her house since everything happened was Sam. He was thankful that he kept the key to her house. So, every day since her breakdown at school, Sam would come to Violet's house to check up on her.

At first, he was trying to convince her to do more. He tried to convince her to get out of bed and walk around. He tried to convince her to go to both kinds of therapy so her leg wouldn't atrophy and so she could feel better by going to talk to her therapist.

But after the second day of feeling like he was talking to a wall, Sam progressively lowered his expectations as his worry grew for the girl. But he figured that he just needed to be there for her and try to not push her. So, every day, he came to her house to check on her. He talked to her about his day even if she seemed despondent, made sure she at least drank water and went to the bathroom, and he even stayed there to stroke her hair comfortingly as she felt like sobbing.

She was mourning.

Violet was mourning the end of the relationship with her mother. Their blowout of an argument was the final nail in the coffin, and she knew that there wasn't a chance of reconciliation now. Violet didn't know if she regretted her actions.

She questioned if she was being too harsh on her mother as she replayed the argument over and over in her head. She didn't know if she truly was self-sabotaging again or maybe the reason why she let her mother go so easily was because Vi was waiting for her to screw up.

But what was done was done and she just felt like she was drowning. It felt like she couldn't breathe, and anytime she would try to swim to the surface, it felt like there was weight attached to her ankle that was just continually pulling her down.

Violet was in bed that Sunday morning and Sam hadn't come yet since he was at church with his family which is why she was confused when she heard her front door open. She thought she was hallucinating. It'd been so long that she didn't even feel like she was even real anymore.