WTF is Gender?

'Attraction & Gender' + 'Cis or Trans?'

Hello everyone! I received some great questions and requests for topics, so here's what this chapter will focus on:
The first section will cover the difference between sexual orientation and romantic orientation, and how these orientations relate to gender.

The second half will answer a much-asked question: How, exactly, do you know if you're trans?

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Attraction & Gender:

Let's start with some definitions.

Sexual orientation specifies the genders which you are attracted to sexually.

Romantic orientation specifies the genders which you are attracted to romantically.

(The only time your own gender matters is if you are specifying that you are hetero(sexual/romantic) or if you are specifying that you are homo(sexual/romantic.))

It is important to know that your sexual orientation and romantic orientation can be, but do not have to be the same. (For example, you could be pansexual homoromantic. You might be asexual biromantic. You might even be heterosexual homoromantic.)

There is an endless list of combinations, and there is no right or wrong way to experience attraction.

Note: gender-related kinks, fetishes, and 'philias have NOTHING to do with your sexual or romantic orientation. If you consider attraction to trans folk a kink, fetish, or 'philia instead of a regular orientation, that does not make you part of the LGBTQIA+ community. It makes you transphobic.

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Are you cis or trans?

To review the words we defined in the last chapter:
Cis means to identify with the gender you were assigned at birth.

Trans means to identify with a gender besides the one assigned to you at birth.

For the most part, you are either cis or trans. (I say 'most part' because some folk who fall under the trans umbrella may choose not to call themselves trans, and that is completely okay.)

Gender is complicated. There is no right or wrong way to experience gender, so gender is nearly impossible to define.

However, the first and most important step in exploring gender is to ask yourself:
Do you identify as cis, or as trans?
Some folk struggle knowing how, exactly, do you go about answering this?
How do you really know if you're trans?

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First, ask yourself these questions:

(If you can answer with '100% no' to any of the questions, feel free to skip to the answer key.)

1. Do you, in any amount, identify as the gender you were assigned at birth?
2. Do you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth all the time?
3. Is the gender you were assigned at birth the only gender you identify as?
4. Do you experience any lack of gender?

Now, here's a short and fast answer key:

Yes, yes, yes, no. 100%, unwavoring and unquestioned.
Guess what, friend? If your gender is the one you were assigned at birth, fully and always present, and never wavoring... You're cis!
(Feel free to keep reading, though, to learn more about your trans pals, and about how to be a good ally to them! There is nothing we appreciate more about an ally than when they're well-informed, yet open-minded, as well as polite. Trust me.)

You had any other combination of answers, you're questioning your answers, or your answers are subject to change over time / depending on the situation?

You may be trans!
(Quick tips, if you're confused about this:
1. There are more gender identities than the two of the binary.
2. It is fully possible to experience more than one, changing, or partial gender.
3. It is fully possible to experience no gender at all.
4. Keep reading for information about places you can ask me questions- it's nearly impossible to explain why you might fall under the trans umbrella without knowing about your unique situation.)

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Trans identities come in many different forms.

This is only the beginning of what it means to be trans.

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I hope you all were able to learn something here, and I hope I've been able to answer some questions! As with the last chapter, feel free to ask questions in the comments, send me a private message, or drop an ask on my tumblr or at ask.fm/capillarystatic.
(Tumblr and ask.fm are good options for if you prefer to stay anonymous.)

The next chapter will go more in depth about what it means to be trans, beyond the basic definition of the word. We'll also talk about reasons someone may identify as trans, types of dysphoria, and why it's okay to lack the experience of dysphoria. I'll also fit in answers to as many questions as I can.

Note: There will be a much longer, more in depth "Am I trans?" quiz thing later on in this guide. What's in this chapter are the quick and dirty basics, because 1. gender is complicated, 2. gender is a very personal thing, and 3. The Walking Dead is about to come on, and I refuse to miss another episode.