PJO & HP for Dummies

RANT: Draco Malfoy

The way some people write Draco is... absolutely fucking hilarious 😂

People write him as if he's the hottest thing ever, omfg 😂 

He always gets these weird ass titles like the "Slytherin Bad Boy" or the "Slytherin Prince" and I cackle every time someone actually uses these in their fics. NO HATE TO THEM, but it's just funny since they're always describing Draco as some hardcore badboy, hot, sexy, dark, alpha male, dom, and I just... 

I'm sorry you guys... but that is NOT Draco Malfoy 😂 😂 😂

I get that he's one of the antagonists of the Harry Potter series, but that does not make him the ultimate bad boy supreme  😂 😂 😂

I'm sure he thinks he's the ultimate bad boy supreme, but trust me, he really isn't. 

The dude's a fucking sub. A bottom. A bitch baby. A daddy's boy. A trust fund baby with emphasis on the word 'baby'. He's a whiny brat who finally gets a reality check in The Half-Blood Prince when his daddy goes to the jail and he becomes a Death Eater with the impossible task of trying to assassinate Dumbledore. 

But let's not get into The Half-Blood Prince right now. We're not done talking about how much of a little bitch Draco is. 

I get that Tom Felton's hot but looks don't always match personality, sorry guys. 

Haven't you guys read the books? Hell even the movies should've told you enough. Where the hell was Draco ever written as a smexy dom bad boy? Was it when he constantly threatened to tattle to his daddy? His really dumb, poorly planned-out idea to dress him and his cronies up into Dementors to scare Harry during a Quidditch match? Or was it this:

Because yes, everything about that is just soooooo hot 🥵🥵🥵 The way he whines and bitches radiates such ✨dom energy✨ omg. And how he constantly talks about his daddy? OH MY GOD YES 😩🤚 HE IS SUCH A BAD BOY, UGH! Wattpad Bad Boys, step aside, Draco Malfoy's here to take your sexy crowns 💦💦💦

I'M DYING RIGHT NOW JUST TYPING THIS OMG 🤣 These sort of fics make me laugh so much because of how they write Draco. 

PLEASE GUYS, PEOPLE ALWAYS WRITE HIM LIKE THIS AND IT'S HILARIOUS! Especially if it was a Draco x OC fic, then those traits get amplified by the hundreds. 

In Draco x OC fics, Draco's described as a "player" or a "flirt". 

PFFFFFFT WHAT?

I can't see that boy flirting at all or dating so many girls. I bet you all he'd talk about on the first date is his father tbh 😂 😂 😂 I'm also 1000000% certain that he's a virgin, though he's probably the type to lie about it so he'd look "cool" (but anyone who's spent, like, one minute with him will automatically know it's bullshit). 

OH AND THESE FICS ALWAYS WRITE ABOUT HIM HAVING SIX OR EIGHT PACK ABS

Guys please I'm literally dying, peoples' imaginations are so wild  😂 😂 😂

The most sportiest thing that boy's ever done is Quidditch... and all you gotta do is sit on a broom and stay balanced... I'm sorry guys, but that's not gonna give you abs of any kind 😔 Especially if you pair that up with the fatty foods Hogwarts always serves every day. There's just absolutely no way Draco could have abs. And no, I don't think there's a potion or spell for it either, 'cause then everyone would be using it and with how Harry described the characters, it's safe to assume such a creation doesn't exist. 

This dude's a spoiled little baby. I bet you he can't even open a jar with his own hands, he'd probably resort to using his wand or having his daddy open it for him. He also gives me 'last kid to be picked for dodgeball teams' vibes lol. Dude's probably so light too, I could probably pick him up and throw him in a trashcan. 

Now it's time to get serious! 

People often write Draco as 'misunderstood'. 

A misunderstood character is a character readers don't realize is actually a good person. For most of the book/show/movie/whatever, the character was seen in a bad light until readers read more about their story and was like "oh my god, this dude's not actually bad, he was a good guy all along! They're just misunderstood! :("

That's not Draco, sorry. 

The books and movies have shown us time and time again that Draco is racist, classist, a blood-purist, a bully, etc. He threw racial slurs around, bullied other kids, antagonized Harry and his friends, and did all kinds of other mean things. 

He was never a good guy. 

He was not misunderstood. He was just a bully who got a reality check.

Think about this: if Draco's dad never went to Azkaban and he was never turned into a Death Eater and wasn't given a mission to kill Dumbledore, do you think Draco would still turn away from Voldemort? No! He'd still be in his safe, luxurious little bubble, not caring at all if Muggle-borns were being persecuted and innocent muggles were being murdered! 

Draco was painfully ignorant until his whole world flipped upside-down. His dad was sent to Azkaban and Voldemort was displeased with the whole Malfoy family. Draco became scared. His father was gone and now he and his mother had zero protection. That's when reality started dawning in on him. His safe luxurious little bubble was now popped. This entire time he never thought he would be so negatively affected by the war until it actually started happening to him. 

He willingly took the Mark in order to keep him and his mother safe. He accepted the impossible mission to try and kill Dumbledore, but he failed every time. Even when Dumbledore was wandless and vulnerable, he still couldn't kill him. Does that make Draco a 'secretly good guy with a heart of gold'? No, it literally just means he didn't want to kill someone 'cause he knows murder's a terrible thing to do :/

Throughout The Half-Blood Prince and The Deathly Hallows, Draco started to change. Did he become a better person? Not right away. He became a perfectly grey character. He clearly didn't want to identify Harry at Malfoy Manor because he knew that Harry would be sent to Voldemort, but when he and his family were put in danger again, he personally tried to capture Harry himself back at Hogwarts. He struggled with his morality all throughout those books, but he definitely put him and his parents in a higher pedestal. It wasn't until the war ended did he finally try to be a better person, but that can only be seen in The Cursed Child, and I know not everyone read it. 

So yeah. Draco was not misunderstood. He just underwent a lot of stress and trauma which caused him to realize how shitty he was.