pimp chimpin' - j.s.

1.9K 46 4
                                    

streamer!reader
also ur schlatt's roommate 🕺

It was a normal Saturday, you were just hanging out in the living room of your apartment, when you heard a knock at the door. You set your phone down to go get it, but you were interrupted by a certain tall brunet barreling past you in the hallway.

"What the fuck?" you laughed, confused as Schlatt ran to the door to open it. On the other side of the door was... a package. A rather large one, at that. "Do you-" you were about to offer your roommate some help when he picked up the box and looked at you, eyes almost crazed.

"It's here," he smiled, taking the new package to his office. You followed him with confused curiosity. What the hell could have a 6'3 grown man so excited? You watched as he placed the box on his chair, grabbing a box cutter off his desk. A box cutter you had never seen before.

"Where did y-"

"Shh! This is important!" Schlatt hissed. He returned his focused to the box, using the tool to cut the tape off and open it. His grin got even wider as he got closer and closer to his newest prize possession. You could only watch in growing confusion as he opened the box to reveal... a monkey lamp. A lamp. Shaped like a monkey.

"Look at that!" he said as he showed it off to you. The monkey sat hunched over, left arm at rest and right arm positioned to hold a lightbulb. It... sure was a monkey lamp. Yeah, it was kinda funny, but nothing Earth-shattering. Schlatt's excited childlike expression told a different story. "It's a fuckin' monkey!"

"Uh huh," you remarked, amused with your roommate's joy. "And how much did it cost?"

"Uh..." Schlatt trailed off, staring at the lamp. "Like one-fifty, maybe?"

You could only laugh. "For a monkey lamp? Shit, those offline Twitch sub bucks must be rollin' in."

"Yeah, yeah," he replied, more enamored with the lamp than your offhanded comment. "I'm gonna put it..." he scanned his desk for a location. "... there!" He carefully placed the monkey next to his microphone, standing back and looking at it like a proud father. You smiled.

"Well, whatever makes ya happy, Jay," you clapped his shoulder gently.

"Oh they make me happy, alright, I have three more coming," he said.

"Three?!" you cried. "That's hundreds of dollars!"

"Hey, you said whatever makes me happy," he looked over at you, flashing that shit-eating grin he sports every time he does a sponsored video. You rolled your eyes.

"Whatever, it's your paycheck, not mine," you said as you started out the door.

"Oh, (Y/N)?" he called after you. You turned back around to face him. "Ted asked if we could record an episode of the podcast with you next week, you in?"

"Yeah, of course," you beamed. "I'll DM him in a minute." Schlatt nodded as you turned back around, heading back to your own room. But only one thought crossed your mind for the next few hours: the fact that your roommate spent over a hundred dollars on a fucking monkey lamp.


[wc: 528]
HEYYYYYY ITS BEEN LIKE FIVE MONTHS BUT I'M BACK BABES B]
writing was something that i missed doing a lot and i've been loving epicsmp and the chuckle sandwich podcast so i decided to start updating this book again,, hope y'all enjoy :D

SPARK ; lunch clubWhere stories live. Discover now