Begin Again || Nate Maloley

|| Chapter 12

"I figured I'd see you eventually," Wesley said. "I already ran into Andrea and Jack, they invited me to your little party tonight."

I had no knowledge of a party. I looked back at Nate and he shrugged.

"You look great, though. I see you finally lost that weight you always stressed about," he licked his lips.

Nate cleared his throat and I was ready to introduce him but I was so busy being frozen by all the anger I had stored away. I kept thinking about the first time I tried to leave him. He had just finished yelling at me for having an extra slice of pizza saying that I didn't need it. Then he had went on to say there's a dent on the side of the bed I always slept on when I would sleep over. And we argued and bickered for hours on end. He told me I couldn't leave because who else would want me? Then he pinned me against the wall, my face damp with tears, and I felt I had no choice but to give in to him seducing me back to that same bed with the dent. He always said he liked fucking me because I gave him something to grab. He made me feel like I was Shamu when everyone else said that I wasn't that big. I was a size 16 and he got me a Lane Bryant gift card for my birthday. I cried for hours that day. I cried for hours on many days. And his words always drove me to eat more. I was his puppet that did anything he asked because I always felt he was right...that no one would want me. And I was so desperate to be able to keep saying that yes I had a hot boyfriend. The thought of everything made my blood boil.

"Are you gonna say something?" Wesley squinted his eyes, searching for a sign of life somewhere on my face.

"Uh," I spoke in a slightly raspy tone. My throat was dry. "Thanks. Um, this is my boyfriend Nate. Nate, this is my...ex...boyfriend, Wesley."

"Boyfriend huh?" Wesley nods with a crooked smile. "That's what's up. Never thought you'd ever...well it's nice to meet you bro."

Nate squinted his eyes and put on the fakest grin. He was already in defensive mode and it was kind of hot. But I knew he was only reacting from how I was acting. He knew I was uncomfortable, I'm sure it showed in my face and also by how bright my knuckles got from how hard I was gripping the table.

"Pleasure," he responded blankly, pursing his lips after.

"Uh...yeah," Wesley cleared his throat. "So I'll see you tonight, Liv"

He looked at me with a thirst in his eyes and I didn't like it. I had to make it a plan to stick by Nate the entire night. Or maybe we shouldn't even leave our room.

+

Johnson, the only other reasonable person in the house besides Nate, pleaded with us to join the party. It was like being a human in a room that contained a few vampires. Red bloodlust flickering in the eyes of Gilinsky, Andrea, and Sydney. Sometimes I would feel their eyes burning into my back...or maybe it was just the knife Andrea had been driving into it.

Nate held onto my hand as we made our way to the kitchen to seek solace in there. I sat on the kitchen counter while he stood between my legs, both of us sipping on our bottles of brew.

"Yo babe," Nate said. "I'm not responsible for all this tension, am I?" He looked so cute & innocent with worry.

"I think it was a long time coming before you even arrived. Well...maybe minus Gilinsky. He's just upset because I wouldn't have sex with him."

"He's what because what?!" Nate's eyebrows raised & his jaw clenched. "Fuckin' bitch boy. You don't owe him shit."

Nate looked past me through the scattered crowd of privileged young people. I knew he was searching for Gilinsky. I grab his chin and bring his lips to mine.