Chapter Thirteen

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About a week has gone by, and I've been avoiding Alek, skipping tutor sessions, and ignoring his texts. After our little fight in the library, I don't know how to make it up to him. I thought about getting him a gift, but I wasn't sure what he would like. God, I really don't know much about him. Some friend I am. I still don't know if we were even friends.

I sit in my English class, tapping my pencil on my notebook. I was anxious. Anxious about the final game of the season. Anxious about my English grade going down. I had barely passed last quarter with a C, all thanks to Alek. Right now I had a B, but I knew that wasn't going to last long, especially since I'm skipping all my tutor sessions. And I feel like shit.

Since the library incident, I haven't been near Alek, and I feel like a drug addict who desperately wanted to relapse. I haven't been able to sleep right or concentrate on anything. Practice is the only time where I feel a little better. Just being active and focusing on the task at hand. I can't do that in a classroom with so many distractions. If I get distracted on the field, someone is bound to yell at me, making me refocus.

The bell rings and I shove everything on my desk into my bag. I really just want to get through this day without any incidents but Mr. Meyre calls me over to his desk before I can leave. I internally groan but walk over to his desk anyways, not happy that I'm being held up after class.

"Mr. Adams, your grades have already dropped and I've only graded two assignments this quarter. You should still be at an A." Mr. Meyre informs me and I have to force myself not to roll my eyes. "Alek also tells me that you haven't been showing up for your tutor sessions. Walter, you need to stop. Alek is already in his second-year college class for English and Literature. And he's doing this for free. Don't waste this opportunity." 

I feel guilty now. Alek has been nothing but nice and helpful to me. I've been avoiding and ignoring him because of something I did. He has every right to be mad at me, not the way around. Great, some friend I am. If I even am his friend.

"I want you to do good in my class and I understand that you're struggling. Please, continue your tutor sessions with Alek. He's a smart and kind boy. Besides, he could really use a friend." Mr. Meyre smiles at me and I nod my head, leaving the classroom and rushing to my next class before the tardy bell rings.

I get there as soon as it does and I sit down next to Jay like always. Leaning back in my chair and resting my eyes. I felt like shit.

"You look like shit." I hear Jay say and I just nod my head, agreeing with him. I didn't bother brushing my hair out today and I literally wore whatever I pulled out first so, I'm positive I didn't look my best today.

"You look like a drug addict waiting on edge to get their next dose." Jay says and I finally open my eyes and look at him, giving him a glare that said, 'don't you think I know that?'. "When's the last time you had eight hours of sleep? You do realize the Championship is coming up?" I knew Jay was genially worried about me but it irritated me and I guess he could tell because he patted my shoulder and said, "Look, I'm just worried about you. You've been distant, like, more than usual. You know you can tell me anything. I'm not like Nick, Ryan, or Matt. I'm willing to listen"

I sigh and rub my face with my hands. I know Jay isn't like those idiots, but I still wasn't sure if I could trust him with what I've been feeling. Especially what I've been feeling towards Alek. I'm sure he would drop me or make fun of me. I didn't need that. I don't want that.

"I know what's wrong with him." Ryan enters the conversation and I shoot him a glare, letting my hands fall to the table. He just shrugs it off and leans on the table so he can see Jay better. "Walt here hasn't seen his boyfriend in a week." He states.

"Shut the fuck up Ryan and don't call me Walt," I growl, not wanting to deal with his shit today. 

He ignores me. "Alek probably ditched his lame-ass because of his awful personality. That, or because the sex wasn't good and Alek figured he could do better than this fag."

I slam my hands on the table as I quickly stand up, the chair I was sitting in falling to the floor with a loud crash. I don't bother responding as I grab my bag and storm out of the classroom, feeling everyone's gaze on me but I couldn't give two shits. I was more than pissed off. Ryan just can't keep his mouth shut for the sake of his own health and my self-control.

I storm into one of the school's bathrooms and throw my book bag at the wall, causing a loud thud to echo throughout the small room. I pace back and forth, running a hand through my hair and tugging on it every so often. I was just so angry. I haven't been this angry since I got suspended. I wanted to punch Ryan's stupid face. You think he would learn the first time to back the fuck off.

I feel my anger invade all of my senses. I can't think straight, my muscles tense, and all I want to do is punch something. And I do. I threw my clenched fist at the wall, breaking the tile and successfully busting my knuckle. I felt better though. In pain but better.

I sigh and rest my forehead against the cold tile. "Fuck, that hurt," I mumble to myself, letting my hurt hand fall to my side. It was throbbing and I could feel the blood flow from the opened wounds, down my hand, and to the floor. The only thing I can hear is my heart rate and the dripping of blood from my hand to the floor.

I look down at the growing pool of blood on the floor, watching it ripple every time a new drop of blood hits the pool. I close my eyes before pushing myself off the wall with a slight groan and walk over to the sink. I turn the water on and run my bloody hand over it, hissing at the pain it caused.

"Fuck. That was not a good idea." I mutter, biting my lip to keep groans of pain in. If Alek were here, he'd scold me for being such an idiot and then would help aid my hand. I might not know a whole lot about him, I might not know his favorite color or shit like that but I do know he would help. It was the type of person he was. To help others despite how they treat him. He's so kind and gentle. Honestly, the world doesn't deserve Alek. I don't deserve Alek. 

I pull my hand away from the running water and grab a few paper towels before pressing them onto the open wounds, instantly soaking in the fresh blood seeping out of the wound. "I need to apologize and make it up to Alek. This is my fault. I didn't have any right to act how I did." I tell myself, basically scolding myself. 

I walk over to my book bag and snatch it from the floor. Slinging it over my shoulder, I leave the restroom and head to the library.

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