Rollercoaster LOVE

lost

I walked into the common room up to the shower. I started it and felt the warm water hit my body. That's where I am now. I'm crying and I don't know what to do. He took everything from me. The one special thing I had he took as if it was his to begin with. I sobbed in the shower and finally came out and dressed in my pajamas. I threw my dress in teh trash. I never wanted to remember this night.

I decided to go to the twins room. I know George was furious at me still. I needed to cry. I needed to forget. I knocked and didn't hear an answer. Surely they weren't still out? I open the door and see Fred and Angelina making out on his bed.

"Amber..uh.. we're a little busy here." Fred says to me.

"Do you have any Firewhiskey?" I ask.

"Sure.. Are you okay?" he says pointing to the bottle on his dresser.

"Never better." I reply going to grab the bottle.

I wanted George but he wasn't there. I walked to his cuboard and pulled out his jumper. The smell of cinnamon and gunpowder consumed me. I smile a bit adn take it with me. I apologize to Angelina who is still straddled on Fred. I wave them good bye and head out of teh common room with the bottle tucked well into the jumper that was too big on me.

I find myself walking up to the Astronomy tower. It's quiet and beautiful with all fo the stars. I hooped nobody was up there. As I made my way up I hear moans.

"Yes, Draco. Right there." I hear a girls voice.

It couldn't be Draco. Surely not Draco Malfoy. Not the same Malfoy who tells me I'm the only one for him. I walk up the stairs anyway to find out. Better to know all the bad news at once right? There was Pansy getting fucked by Draco.

"You take me so well, Pansy." He pants.

I turn around and walk out. He must have heard my footsteps because I hear him curse behind me and hear him trying to see who had come.

"Shit! Sparks! Sparks! Please!" Draco begs.

I turn around and give him a weak smile. I wave to him and try to find somewhere to hide. I could crawl into a hole and die. Why  did Maxim make me invalualbe? Is that why Draco fucked Pansy? Is that why I couldn't find George?

I walked to the seventh floor and found the Room of Requirement. Inside I find a bar and a couch. It looked cozy and welcoming. I lifted the firewhiskey to my lips and began drinking. I wanted to forget. I wanted to numb it all.

I drank to the point where I didn't know what was going on. I let my body take me wherever it wanted to go. Igot back to the common room without getting in trouble and made my way back into the boys dorms. This time without knocking I walked in. Angelina had gone and Fred and Lee were fast asleep in their beds. George still hadn't come back.

Where was he? I need him right now. I crawled into his bed shutting the curtains. I casted a silencing spell and wrap myself in his blanket and sob my heart out. Alone. That's where I was and belonged.

_____________

The sun shined on me. Even though I wanted to forget I remembered. I opened my eyes and laid still for a moment as I tried to collect my thoughts and self for the day. It was a free day and we were allowed to Hogesmade. I take a deep breath and find myself alone in the room. Not wanting to run into Ginny and Hermione I open George's cupboard and find a tshirt and sweatpants. I threw my hair into a bun and threw the clothes on under Georges jumper.

I walked down into the Great Hall and found most people had gone to Hogesmade already. I didn't see George and grab a tart and walk off to the carriages and get a ride with Luna Lovegood. She tells me about the Quibler and Nargles. She seemed sweet. Not wanting to be rude I pretended to listen until we parted ways.

I  made my way to the Hog's Head pub. I wanted to keep drinking. Most students didnt venture off that far and it was a darker area. I walked in and seen the bartender. He waved to me.

"Niklaus, can you just hand me a couple bottles?"

"Sparks. I don't know you could get me into serious trouble." he says to me.

"I'll pay double." I tell him.

He reluctantly agreed and I tip him well. I walk over to the shreiking shack. I open one of the bottles and take a seat on the dusty well wornout couch. I look around. This is a place where someone like me belongs, I Thought to myself.

I hear footsteps and pull out my wand. Suddenly Harry pops out. I forgot the twins knew the tunnels and one of them lead here.

"Amber.. Are you okay?" he says taking the seat next to me.

I lay my head on his shoulder.

I hum in response. I don't think I'll ever be okay again.

"Harry? If someone betrays you.. how do you trust again?" I ask.

Confused he replies," You let yourself heal and try again I suppose."

The poor boy who didn't ask for any of this held my hand for awhile before going to meet up with Hermione and Ron. I promised I'd be safe and go back to school before long.

I ended up staying at the shack for awhile and finshing a bottle off before heading back. It was about the time everyone should be returning and I was feeling numb. It was wonderful. It was the first time in 24 hours I hadn't felt like shit.