I can't lose you...(editing)#wattys2015

Chapter 4 Surprising News part 1

Six weeks later...

Clarke POV

We had a very busy few weeks but we were well on our way with winter preparations.

We had successfully built a barn for the livestock, which housed two cows, two goats and two horses. One male, one female so we were insured of a future food supply. We also had a henhouse with 6 chickens. The rooster was annoying for the first week or so but we were all thankful for the fresh eggs and milk. A crop had been planted near the southern end of camp, close to a stream, it was almost ready for harvest.

We had managed to build a medical facility and a place to eat and store food. Monty had built a cold pit with a door we were just waiting for the winter to come to see if it would work.

Several houses had been started also.

I was lost in reverie as I stretched and yawned. I felt a twinge of nausea. Ugh I thought this was the fourth time this week.

I was glad I had slept alone last night. I didn't want to worry Bellamy. His days had been just as busy as mine and he needed his sleep.

The problem was, so did I. No matter how much sleep I got it wasn't enough. I had dozed at dinner a couple of times. Bellamy noticed and sent me to my tent to sleep. I had deep circles under my eyes. My mother had given me a tonic made from a grounder recipe of berries and seaweed but that just made me puke.

She had surveyed me without comment.

I got dressed and went for some water to settle my stomach. The truth was I had a nagging suspicion that wouldn't go away. I needed to speak to Lexa and the medicine woman Andu in private. I was afraid to speak with my mother about it. As I reached the water station, Bellamy walked up.

"Morning Princess"

"Morning stranger" I smiled weakly.

He surveyed me critically, I was sure he noted my pale skin and the deep circles under my eyes.

"Clarke, did you get any sleep last night?" He asked worridly

I pulled myself together, "I'm fine, just working hard like everyone else"

His eyes looked at me intensely for a moment, then he smirked. "You know princess, if you would spend more time in my tent you would sleep better"

I laughed "Really?  I somehow think I might end up exhausted! "

He laughed too, "Definitely!  What are you up to today? " he lowered his voice ever mindful of my wish to keep our relationship private. "Will I see you tonight? I miss you.  It feels like it's been forever, I hate sleeping without you."

He was right, it had been almost two weeks since I had shared Bellamy's tent. After the second morning I woke up sick I had found excuses to sleep in my bunk so as not to worry him.

Octavia was the only one who suspected I often shared her brother's tent. She caught me sneaking in one morning and I had given some flimsy story but I wasn't sure she had believed me.

"I'll try Bellamy" truth was it depended on my conversation with Lexa.

He finally noticed my pack.

"Where are you off to?" He asked

"I need to speak with Lexa about something, that's all" I answered, praying he wouldn't offer to accompany me.

"I'd go with you but they need all the help they can get on the shelters, time is running out and the first frost could come any day."

"It's ok" I answered relieved, "I'll see you tonight" I promised

Bellamy gave me his full smile and started towards the shelters. While I turned and started down the hill towards the grounder settlement.

I was ushered into Lexa's chambers and she grabbed my hand in a friendly Grounder greeting. "Greetings Clarke, what can we do for you?"

A slight shadow crossed my face, "May I speak with you and your medicine woman in private?"

"Leave us and fetch Andu" Lexa commanded her guard. When we were alone Lexa eyed me carefully but did not comment instead choosing to wait for Andu and I was grateful for the silence.

When Andu arrived we sat in a circle around the small fire pit in the corner of the room. Andu poured us all a drink of hot tea made from the bark of a tree. "It is from a tree we call Cinnamon" Lexa explained. "It is beneficial for women.  Now what has happened Clarke?"

I took a deep breath, "I think I may be pregnant and I don't know what to do."

Lexa surveyed me for a moment " You do not wish your mother to know?" I shook my head, "Do you wish to keep your baby?" She asked.

"To be honest I didn't think I had a choice" I whispered, eyes wide.

Andu answered, "If you do not wish to keep the baby we have a tonic that you can drink for three days in a row and it will cause you to lose the life inside. It can only be used during the first three months of pregnancy. After that it can be fatal to both mother and child."

I stared at both of them and Lexa nodded.

"If you choose to keep the baby in addition to fresh milk, we have another tonic, as well as this tea that will keep you healthy and give you strength to carry the life inside you. " Andu stated. "The choice is yours"

I sat lost in thought, there was still time, I was only about 6-8 weeks, but on the other hand Bellamy had the right to know.  I had to talk to him first.

"Thank you both, but I think I need to speak to the father before I do anything."

Lexa surveyed me.
"Bellemy is the father, is he not?"

"How did you guess?" I asked surprised

Lexa and Andu both smiled. "He is the strongest man in your village, and you are the strongest woman.  It would be natural and right for you two to come together in this way. It should be celebrated. Life is a gift."

I nodded, "It's just no one in my village knows about Bellamy and I. We thought it would weaken our leadership."

Lexa answered, "Yes, a leader always has to be mindful of usurpers who would try to seize control. Do what you think best. We will keep your confidence. Andu prepare some potion for Clarke to take with her to improve her health and rest." She looked at me "If you choose not to keep the baby visit us before the next moon and we will administer the potion ourselves as it requires some skill to prepare"

I nodded

Andu returned with some of the Cinnamon tea (which was delicious) as well as another tonic of Mint and Chamomile and some other herb I was not familiar with.

"We will teach your mother about these herbs so she will have them on hand. They have other uses as well.  We will not tell her why." Andu promised.

I thanked them both and left for camp. I had some thinking to do before I saw Bellamy tonight.