Beyond His Years

Chapter One

__________________CHAPTER ONE________________

 

"Kellan, maybe if I knew what was wrong I'd be able to help somehow."

"There's nothing wrong, though, Mom. That's the thing," Kellan insisted.

            I sank against my wall, hearing another argument between my brother and my parents through my room. They had absolutely no idea why Kellan was so depressed. I felt bad knowing, but it wasn't my information to share. I guess that's why people confide in me. I don't bother telling anyone.

            I picked at a hangnail after sending a quick text to Diamond. She's my best friend. Nothing will ever change that. We're not dating. We're not in love. Sorry to disappoint.

            She was there, though, when Kellan made a suicide attempt last year. It was scary as hell, and she was there. He had gone into the bathroom with his knife. He probably would have been gone if it hadn't been for Diamond, I guess. She wanted to see his new White Stripes poster, so we went in his room. I noticed his knife was gone, put two and two together, and bounded for the bathroom door.

            All I remember thinking was, It's too late. It's too late. My heart pounded once I realized the door was locked. I rammed my shoulder against it as adrenaline rushed through me. With a deafening crack, I somehow broke it down to find Kellan, knife in hand, with tears running down his cheeks. I wrenched the knife from him and dragged him by his sweatshirt out of the bathroom into the hallway where he cried against my chest for a good hour.

            Diamond went and made milkshakes and popcorn. She was shaken, but calmer than I was. I brushed away a few tears myself.

            "I think I'd better be going," she said after the snack was eaten.

            "No, it's okay. I can tell you, too, Di," Kellan managed to choke.

            I brushed his long blonde hair out of his face and sat him up.

            Once he was ready, he began. "I'm bi."

            "Old news," Diamond and I said at the same time. He'd always say he was bisexual and then say he was kidding. He had made it obvious in a few ways.

            "No, but it's bad. Kids at school... they call me a fag."

            "Who?" Diamond asked with a little too much force, "Who says that?"

            Kellan shook his head. "I'm not giving names."

            "Understandable."

            Anyway, Kellan's story poured out. All his guy friends had completely ditched him. Everything was spinning out of control. He said he'd covered up the mirrors in his room to keep from crying. Diamond was moved to tears, which is saying something.

            "Don't tell anyone. Please," Kellan begged.

            Diamond and I caught each other's eyes.

            "Kellan..." I began.

            "No, that would just mess everything up. I'll go to the guidance counselor tomorrow, I promise."

            I wasn't convinced.

            "If he's getting help, then I guess we can keep it between us," Diamond pushed.

            "Please, Jimmy," he begged.

            "What kind of a position do you think you're putting Diamond and me in? If anything were to happen to you, we'd blame ourselves."

            His wide blue eyes, darker than mine, were what convinced me in the end. I guess seeing a fourteen year-old in such misery was heartbreaking.

            One year later, my parents keep badgering him with why he's being so melancholy. They have a right though. I mean, he mopes around the house all day, except maybe when he's playing videogames with me or when Sam's over.

            Then my parents bug me, too. My grades are relatively okay. Their problem is the fact I don't play sports. Alex, my older brother, was the biggest jock in the world before he graduated three years ago. I refuse to play organized sports. I hate how much of a big deal people make of it. It's like, okay, they get the ball in the net. Don't get so worked up. Jesus.

            "But you're so strong, Jimmy!" my mother always says.

            I work out nearly every day. Not because I want my body to look good, but because I want to go into the army.

            I know, I know. Curve ball. But I really want to help in any way I can.

            I jumped as Diamond responded to my text, asking if I want to go to the movies with a few other friends. I quickly replied with a "sure", happy to escape from Kellan and my parents' banter.

            I threw on my dark green jacket and Timberland boots and headed out the door after scrawling a note.

            Typical Friday.