五十五

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pluto projector - rex orange county (violin part slowed)

the song this entire book is based off


"jun?"

darkness. nothing but an overwhelming darkness filled the bedroom of the sick patient. though minghao had been told he wasn't allowed to pay nightly visit's to junhui any longer by doctor kihyun himself, he couldn't resist the urge to go. 

simply staying in his room with the thought of junhui struggling with his health, only separated by a thin wall, seemed way harder than minghao initially thought when he had been requested to give junhui some extra space. and so here he was, sneaking into junhui's room like how he always used to do.

"hao? what are you doing here?" junhui had purposely been facing the door the entire time, still expecting minghao to visit him somewhere. even when they weren't allowed to, they somehow always managed to find a way to be together. even in this unfortunate circumstances. 

"i didn't want to sleep without you." minghao respectfully waited at the edge of junhui's bed, waiting for a sign of permission to enter the boy's private space. 

"come here.." junhui weakly muttered out, not able to lift the blanket himself. minghao took it for granted and gently slipped in the small amount of space he shared with junhui, perfectly fine for just the two of them. "i thought you weren't allowed to visit me anymore? we're going to be screwed if they find you here." perhaps it was out of precaution, as junhui sincerely wanted to keep both him and minghao out of troubles.

"i don't care, i just want to be with you." minghao said, lifting junhui's arm and laying it in position around his waist, shuffling in closer so their noses scarcely brushed against one another. 

the proximity between the two chinese boys was comfortable, though they noticed the little tension in the atmosphere. their intimacy had grown to an almost spiritual level, making them feel alike yet so different in a strange manner.

what they had was everything but nothing compared to what they could have, yet it was something special. thus something worth treasuring for the time they were given. 

"jun.. could you please be honest with me?" the question came unexpected, though junhui knew minghao was bound to find out eventually. perhaps he'd seen it coming but wanted to avoid the issue by going around it. however, he understood now that they had come to a point where he could no longer keep minghao's hopes up with lies. covering up his incurable disease with tons of good words and empty promises was now a lost case. 

therefore he nodded, as far as his neck allowed him to. 

"you're not going to make it right..?" minghao wished for junhui to make it right like he always did, to cover up his assumption with a beautiful lie again. but he realized he had to start facing reality and accept the situation for what it was. 

and so junhui nodded again, a stray tear rolling down his cheek and announcing a series of sobs to leave his mouth. 

it was the first time minghao had ever seen junhui break down like this. even in his most vulnerable states, where his entire body shut down or the physical pain had been too much to bare, junhui had refused to show anything beside his optimistic self. 

"i-i'm so sorry hao.." junhui cried out, unable to hide the pain he had gone through. 

minghao shushed the boy who had broken down into heartbreaking tears. though no words were able to make junhui's condition right again, minghao held onto him and assured him he would stay by his side until the end. no matter what happened, minghao had known that it was a bumpy ride from the start, and so he was determined to continue the road where they had once begun, not leaving junhui once it became difficult.

and that was all junhui needed, being held by minghao and hearing him whisper those words to him over and over again. 


midst all that, dorothy ran down the stairs, hurrying outside through the front door as doc was assumably still out somewhere, watching over the serene night on this particularly bright night. the tip of a cigarette lit up as the only source of light every time doc took a firm inhale, a slight cloud of smoke being visible with every breath he let out. and thus dorothy hurried to the only point of recognition; the bench right next to the lake, a few meters away from their front porch. 

"doctor park.." she panted, catching her breath as she didn't have the best condition at this age anymore. "patient xu has sneaked into patients wen's room.. do i need to take actions?" 

doc raised his hand instantly, pausing her from continuing her explanation. once she remained silent he lowered it, taking another deep inhale from the intoxicating smoke, eyes fixated on the calm water. smoking was something the man rarely ever did, though he knew that one cigarette would be enough to clear the thoughts that were currently messing with his head. 

his mind was currently occupied with all the information doctor kihyun had given him that day, about the unfortunate state junhui's body was in. but mostly, the knowledge they already had about what was bound to happen. which was almost officially stated, as a cure, treatment or medicine wasn't findable at this rate. 

wen junhui was officially found incurable, and it didn't sit right with doc. certainly not now minghao, another one of his dearest patients, grew so attached to him and found his own cure within junhui. it would only be a matter of time before it would all be over for them. 

doc was convinced that junhui and minghao had met at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

"please don't take actions against it dorothy." doc sighed, calmly bringing the cigarette back up to his lips again. 

"but what about junhui's state?" dorothy worriedly asked, certain about the fact that junhui would be better off if he spent the night by himself. 

"junhui's state won't get worse in minghao's presence." doc might have seemed careless to any other professional doctor. but after having seen minghao's change of persona, doc was convinced that the only cure he could offer them for now was for them to not be separated. 

"let them be together for now. they deserve to spend their time together before it all ends." 

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