𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐾𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑛.✔️

#11

Essence

"You stupid idiot" he yelled at me as my sobbing got harder

"I'm- I'm sorry—" I couldn't form a full sentence

"You can't do anything right ever, you're lucky I gave your pathetic self a chance you'll never find anybody who would love such a useless person. You're parents are lucky they died-"

I slapped him—"don't talk about my parents" his face hardened he never glared at me this hard before shit shit shit "you worthless bitch!" He raised his hand and a sudden burning sensation hit my cheek followed by the wind punched out of me

He punched my stomach until I fell, continuing with kicks everywhere, every single place on my body

I thought I was going to die

"Stop stop stop stop"

"You stupid idiot" he yelled at me as my sobbing got harder

"I'm- I'm sorry—" I couldn't form a full sentence

"You can't do anything right ever, you're lucky I gave your pathetic self a chance you'll never find anybody who would love such a useless person. You're parents are lucky they died-"

I slapped him—"don't talk about my parents" his face hardened he never glared at me this hard before shit shit shit "you worthless bitch!" He raised his hand and a sudden burning sensation hit my cheek followed by the wind punched out of me

He punched my stomach until I fell, continuing with kicks everywhere, every single place on my body

I thought I was going to die

"Stop stop stop stop"

"Essence"

My body shook—what?

"Essence, hey, wake up it's just a dream" the last shook made my body come back conscious I gasped loudly

I couldn't breathe

My throat was closing up!

What is the matter with me tears filled up my vision I couldn't see the person yelling my name "Ian!" Someone yelled louder

Large loud footsteps started to come closer "what the fuck happened" the voice was deep but I knew who it was

Please no go away I can't explain this , fuck

"Bambina?" Footsteps stopped in front of me. "Essence." He now called out to me. The moment I felt his hands touch my shoulder my body shutters. I start to wipe my tears filled eyes quickly while mumbling.

"I'm sorry," I say over and over

"Shh it's ok it's fine." He says now rubbing my back. My breathe became slower as I could fully breathe hot tears still flowing down my cheeks onto his shirt

My eyes became heavier

Oh no I can't sleep I have to leave I have to go home.

My body started to move as he gripped tighter "shh go to sleep you shouldn't be getting up it's the middle of the night" like I was compelled my body once again became limp my eyes following along

I let my whole body go into his arms as sudden darkness took over

The brightness shun through my eyelids as I yawned rubbing the sleep from my eyes

I opened my eyes looking around

This isn't my bed and certainly not my room

Memories flood my brain from last night, as I started to be anxious

Fuck what the hell happened

"Hey" i sweet voice came next to me holding a mug with steam coming out "coffee?" She offered

Bri stood in her clothes from yesterday had she not changed?

She laughed a bit noticing my looks "We fell asleep watching the movie on the couch and Ian left us to sleep but you woke up after um I assume a nightmare and I was scared to leave you alone so I stayed by you till now I guess" she looked down nervously after handing me the coffee

"Thank you" I smiled feeling nervous at her next words

"So Um what happened last night" her eyes widened a bit "I mean if you want to tell me I'd be ok if you didn't we've only known each other for a while and stuff—" I cut her off

"It's fine Um" I nervously chuckled "my parents died when I was pretty young. They died in front of me which messed with my head for a lot of years. Let's just say I went down a pretty bad path, and that's when I met my ex boyfriend, he was the cuttest boy ever and was interested in me out of all people" I laugh remembering what was going through my mind when he asked me out.

"I refused to go out with him for months but he kept begging and pleading. I had never received any form of affection so when he'd show me even the smallest of love I'd internally go crazy." She seems interested in the story which makes me hesitate before continuing.

"He was so nice and sweet. Until," I shook my head "he uh- well it started right after he asked me to be his girlfriend he- " I took a deep breath in "he hit me" I nodded looking at her to see her face. Her eyes widened as she grabbed my hand and held it with a small smile, she didn't pity me?

"It got worse as the days went on I didn't really think of it, I thought I deserved it he brainwashed me to think I didn't need anything good and that I was worthless" I couldn't believe I was telling another person all of this. It was so unlike me to even speak about my feelings let alone expose everything about myself to somebody. But fuck did I need it. The more I confused the better I felt.

"Sometimes I still do believe him as crazy as that sounds.. but he hated everything I did, I couldn't talk to anyone I had no friends I didn't have a phone I never went to school I wasn't allowed since I didn't have any family and I was in foster care no one cared, I did move in with him which really just made it worse, I know I'm stupid I just-

Bri stopped me wiping my cheek I hadn't even realized I was crying she shook her head " no you aren't stupid" she looked me in the eyes telling me I could continue

"Well i finally got the will of my parents I kept it from him and one night I had enough I couldn't do it anymore I was broken and messed up—I still am— but I took the money and ran I took his car and drove to the farthest place I could find"

"Which is here, I sold the car and got a better one I tried settling but to my expectations he's still with me every single day in my head both him and my parents I see my dads face sometimes he's stone cold and dead in front  of my eyes I wish I could remember another memory of them but I couldn't"

Bri took my face in both of her hands cupping it "you Essence are the strongest person ever, I am so proud of you, and if nobody ever told you this, You. Are. Enough. You are more than enough you are not worthless" I looked into her eyes she was being honest she was telling the truth

I broke down into her arms she's the first person I told this too I barely knew her but I felt as if we were the closest people ever

It was like a release I knew I'd still have issues but the weight was shortly lifted it was getting there but it was in fact  still there it probably always will be

I looked up at her after a while of us hugging "oh Um by the way could you just kee-" she cut me off "my lips are sealed" she pretended to zip up her lips throwing it away

I suddenly started to look around were we alone "he's gone" she said suddenly "Killian. He's gone, as much as you guys fight and hate each other" she put her fingers in quotes at the 'hate each other' "he still looked worried he wanted to stay but I told him to go to his meeting" she said

I nod

"Well let's make the vibe more happy" she smiled before grabbing the coffee I had from the side table and taking it "hey where you going with that" I yelled

She walked to the microwave before putting it in "it got cold" she shrugged and laughed

I laughed along before thinking how I was going to explain it to my 'boss'

Just great

M