A Broken Road

A Broken Road- 14

That day could have been classified as a really good day. I'd spent a lot of time in the living room with Kelly, Alex, and Danny and we'd watched a few movies, laughing at the comedies and screaming at the horror movies until Danny and Kelly had to leave, leaving me and Alex alone.

I meant what I told him about not being mad. I put in a lot of effort in getting along with him in a civil way. And I'd been trying. I refrained from glaring, insulting, snapping, and any physical harm. I think I did a pretty good job with forgiving him, considering I hadn't exploded, cried, or yelled in any way. 

It felt so much better not being mad at anybody... well, except for Anna but that's a different story. A story that I really couldn't think about.

After Danny and Kelly left at about nine, I stayed in the living room with Alex as we feasted over a How I Met Your Mother marathon with popcorn, chips, and soda. We rarely talked, but when we did, it was friendly. Like two normal friends talking and laughing together in a totally un-awkward way. Eventually, I got tired enough to go up to bed so I said my goodbyes to Alex downstairs and headed for my room. 

I brushed through my hair before putting it up in a messy braid and dressed in sweats with an old t-shirt. I prefer taking showers at night, but I decided that I'd take one tomorrow morning since I was too tired and lazy, so I made my way over to the bed and plopped down like a sack of heavy potatoes before crawling under the soft blanket.

At least I was tired now and I easily drifted into sleep with my face buried in the soft, welcoming and soothing pillows.

Too bad my dreams couldn't be as happy as the real world...

The rain was pouring, thudding and banging on the windows of every window on the car. I couldn't explain the odd sickening feeling I had in my stomach. Each drop sounded in my ear with a crewed splash. I couldn't see anything outside, just the blurring rain of the unforgiving storm, threatening to topple us over at any second. Like we were driving on a tight rope. I could hear myself crying but I didn't know why, I was just crying.

Tink! Tink! Tink!

I looked over and saw two cold knuckles knocking on the car window from the outside. We must be stopped at a light or something if a man is knocking on my window. I looked over at my mom to see her reaction to the man knocking on the window but all that was there was a version of my mother that I'd never seen before, the mother that I've loved my whole life, the one that's loved and cared for me since I was a tiny, newborn baby, was mangled in a bloody mess in the seat beside me with her eyes closed almost peacefully with blood all around. So much blood... just so much. 

The only thing I could do was scream, and so I did. I screamed so loud that the rain pounding on the windows were drown out and nothing could take me away. I didn't know what to think or what to do, so I just closed my eyes, and screamed until my throat couldn't tolerate anymore.

"Paisley! Paisley wake up!" I was shaken awake by a strong hand on my shoulder, much to my relief.

I bolted up into a sitting position, gasping for air and looked around the room. I wasn't in the car anymore, I was in the room. The room that I'd been living in for the past month. Miserable and lonely and alone without a mother. The wax drooling down the walls and the decorations were almost a little comforting. But it still haunted me, every time I closed my eyes, I saw my mom's bloody body resting beside me in that mangled mess of a car or the thick, hard knuckles of that paramedic knocking on the window outside of the car to try and save me. 

As I sat in the bed, I think I was hyperventilating. I'm not really sure, considering I'd only done it a few times before and that was in the hospital when I'd just learned about my mom's tragic death. But that hospital visit is a big blur of tears and blackness, so I don't really remember what it feels like to hyperventilate. But as I was sitting in that bed, I found it nearly impossible to breath, like my lungs were closing in on me as if I'd just run three consecutive marathons.