Becoming Ready

Chapter 29 - Ready

Charlie stared at Shawn across the table, unsure if she heard him correctly.

"What?" she asked.

"I said, you have to go Charlie," he repeated.

"I don't know Shawn, I don't think it's a good idea," she said, biting her lip.

He tilted his head. "And why the hell not?"

Charlie and Shawn were discussing the Creedwater Film Festival. Well, more like the fact that Charlie would have to be attending the festival by herself. Creedwater wasn't allowing them to bring any guests with them. It could only be her, River and Professor Roth. They would have to fly to the snowy mountain town in a few days, and stay there for an entire week. Charlie hadn't given Roth an answer on whether or not she was going yet.

"Because," she said. "I've put our relationship through enough this year. I'm not about to go off with River and put you in that uncomfortable position again. They can do the press interviews without me, I'm still in the movie. I'll still get the exposure."

"Nope, you're going. That's final," he argued. Or rather, he tried to end the argument.

"Shawn, you don't have to pretend you're ok with it..." she started.

He shook his head. "If you think I'm gonna let you give up an opportunity like this because of me, you're crazy."

"I just don't want you to worry," she replied.

"I love you so much," he sighed. "The fact that you would even consider giving this up for me is sweet, but you're only worried because you used to be in a bad relationship with a guy who would have asked you to. You know me better than that, you know I will be upset if you don't go. Yes, we had some rough times while you were making this movie. But we're past that. If it didn't break us up then, it's sure as hell not gonna break us up now. After all we've been through? No way."

She fidgeted. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Charlie, why are you looking for reasons not to do this? What are you afraid of?" he asked.

His question took her by surprise. She hadn't thought she was afraid of anything except for losing him until that moment. But... if she was honest with herself, that wasn't the only reason why she didn't want to go.

Going to the Creedwater Film Festival was a huge deal. She was going to be thrust into the spotlight, even if it was just for a little bit. And she was going to have to do it all alone. River was obviously not to be trusted, and Professor Roth wasn't exactly the most supportive person in the world. He was kind of a typical, self-centered director. He only treated her well if she made him look good.

It was overwhelming to think of everything she would be walking into if she went on the trip. It was real-life, big-time career stuff. And if any of the things she had heard about Hollywood were true, she had every reason to be scared. It was a cutthroat, judgmental industry. What if she wasn't ready for all that? In many ways, she still felt like she was just a kid.

"What about all the parties and events?" she pointed out. "There's alcohol everywhere at those kinds of things. I only just started working the steps. What if I relapse?"

"You can call your sponsor every day that you're up there," he answered calmly. "And I have faith in you."

"It's just a lot to deal with, I don't feel prepared," she muttered.

Shawn reached for her hand across the table. "Life is going to happen whether you're prepared or not, Charlie. You might never be prepared. But that doesn't mean you should sit at home and let it pass you by. And come on, are you really cool with River taking all the spotlight?"

She made a face. "No."

Just the thought of him schmoozing everyone in interviews made her want to roll her eyes. At least if she went, she would keep his ego in check.

And Shawn was right, about life. She was only nineteen, but she had been through a lot. And she had never been prepared for it before it happened. She just learned to deal with things as she went along. Knowing how to do was about as prepared as anyone could be.

"Okay," she exhaled. "I'll go."

"That's my girl," he smiled.

"I love you, you know that? Thank you for always supporting me and wanting the best for me," she said, truly appreciating the amazing guy sitting across from her.

"I love you too, Goldie."

A few days later, she found herself standing face to face with River in the Bridgeport Airport Terminal. She took off her sunglasses and stared at him. He stared right back at her. It felt a little bit like the shootout at the OK Corral, or any other Western, really. All that was missing was that song from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

"Well, hello again, Charlie," he said to her, with a lopsided smile.

"Hello River," she answered.

"Can I walk by you, or are you gonna slap me again?" he asked, holding up his hands, pretending to be afraid of her.

"Keep your hands to yourself and I won't have to," she shot back.

He smirked and laughed. "Aw, I missed us."

She snorted. She couldn't believe him sometimes, but a part of her wasn't surprised that he was covering everything up with cocky humor. "You're twisted, you know that?"

"It's what makes me so great," he replied.

She walked away from him toward the airline counter. She was happy to have gotten their first conversation out of the way, regardless of how short it was. They couldn't very well travel all the way to Creedwater without talking first.

After she got her boarding pass, she collected her things and walked towards security. She felt nervous, but not the kind of overwhelming nerves that might have paralyzed her in the past. The good kind of nerves.

She looked around the Bridgeport Airport Terminal. She had a feeling deep inside herself that her entire life was about to change. She couldn't quite figure out how or why, and she had no idea what the world had in store for her next.

But whatever it was, she was ready.