Phobia of the Mind

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I've been thinking a lot lately and sometimes my thoughts scare me, sometimes my thoughts disgust me. It is probably the most contradictory aspect of my life, as my life is happy and full of love. And yet, my mind has these moments of sinking into the depths of a dark cesspool until I'm so deep in myself, I can't tell up from down. Edgar Allan Poe was afraid of his heart, I am afraid of my mind. It's terrifying how far in the depths it's willing to plunge and reside in until I haul it back to reality where things are nicer and sweeter. Sometimes I'm worried that I have some degree of clinical depression, one that, if not addressed, will eventually consume me like the gluttonous monster it is.

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