1- Shake it out- Florence and The Machine
2- Torn apart-bastille
3- Masterpiece- Jessie J
"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but, you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to."
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross & John Kessler
Six days later
Ever wonder how one gets over heartbreak? Yes we exchange stuff, take back a CD or two, burn a few things. Those are all materials. Stuff. I mean the actual heartbreak; the happy memories, the details, the things we loved about this certain person, the things we hated...the things we miss. I gave him everything back; the stuffed bear with a 'cheer up' when I failed a course and the cliff notes he actually wrote when I had to do it again, the sweatshirt I practically stole from him which smelled like him and I never dared to wash it, and the watch. I stared at the only thing I never gave back, and the thing I don't have the heart of letting go; that damn ring. Now around my neck in a silver chain.
"Stop staring at the ring Jilly!" that jerk of a friend of mine interrupted.
The only people I am associating with nowadays are my family, Kalon, and Cecilia. Cecilia, luckily, seems livelier every time I talk to her. She seems excited about the rest of our journey while I dreaded its end.
"Why weren't you persistent?"
He looked at me puzzled.
"Persist in what dear?"
"Why didn't you try to persuade me to stay? Why didn't you push your argument? If you wanted me that much, don't people usually do grand gestures and say cheesy romantic speeches if they want someone that much?"
He looked at me with a hint of a smile, he gave his neck a light rub, then spoke: "What for dear? Why dissuade someone who has already made up their mind? You never said it in a manner that you were heart broken and yearning for my comforting caress darling. Who are we kidding? Two months was all it took to know you would never do such a thing. In addition to your absurd reaction when I told you what happened with Cici and I, why would I pursue someone who has already made up her mind concerning me?"
That was my method. I thought, with complete confidence, that the more I push back and distance myself, the Richard Gere(s) and John Cusack(s) of the world will instantly be magnetized by this bravado and await under my balcony with a giant bomb box and an undying declaration of their love. Ridiculous? Maybe. Outlandish? Probably. Idiotic? Definitely.
"I guess you're right. I am so difficult Kalon."
"You are sweetheart, that's your appeal. You could loosen up a bit, it wouldn't hurt. Not everyone out there is trying to hurt, deliberately that is. Some people just want to get to know you, become a part of your life. Don't build and renew walls other people will tire from tearing them down. Look at this as a chance so start fresh, and less tense. Go for things you actually want. See what this world has to offer. Losing Zen is upsetting yes, but you let him go. Focus on the things you need to do. That bulletin you showed me the other day, are you actually adding anything to it? That clinic idea, are you actually looking into that?"
YOU ARE READING
Escaping The LoopChickLit
At 28, Jillian realizes that her seemingly perfect life is a continuous mundane routine. she is fed up with conformity and wants change. Along the way, she battles depression, gets nostalgic, falls in love, and realizes that life and living happen w...