Best Friend

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Another time when you hurt is when a friend you care so much about that you seem to be able to give her the all so precious status of "Best Friend" doesn't give a shit about you. She tells you that you are a good, good friend. After almost 10 years of being good, good friends, isn't it about time you just became best friends? When you was 10, you thought it would be you and her against the world. Then another of your friends left and it was just you and her. You thought you could finally officially be Best Friends. Apparently, it was all in your head. She wanted no such thing. She never was your best friend. It was never you and her against the world. It was never true. She found new friends but she pulled you into the group because she felt weird not having you tag along like last time. You made friends with her friends. You think they became your friends? You think among them you would finally find your "Best Friend"?Of course not, they are her friends and they care about her not you. Youre just there just because you were coincidentally there when they first started hanging out. At first, you felt like you belonged because everyone didn't know each other yet. Slowly, they realised you were immature, a little kid, annoying, too nice. They didn't want to babysit, they didn't want to deal with the little kid, so they just let you be, let you play with your own toys by the corner while they 'adults' talked about cool things. You were too nice to say anything, too scared to lose them as friends because they are all you have and you didn't want to be join somebody elses group of friends. You didn't want to be an unwanted guest there so you stuck with your friends. After a while, you noticed that they didn't care, they only took you in because you were there not because they truly wanted or needed you. You were never needed. You were never the shoulder to cry on or the one they to for advice, never the one they ask for help for anything because you were too 'inexperienced', you didn't get good enough grades to help them. You were always the unwanted guest at their party. You cared too much and you got hurt. Like always. Doesn't it happen too often to be alright?

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