Chapter 8 | Almost Acceptance

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~|Nash|~

I had ended up just giving him a handjob. When we started to take it further, I came back to my senses and apologized for leading him on. I don't explicitly feel that way about Jay. He just looked so distraught and I don't know what came over me.

Oh god. I almost fucked him.

Now I have a new problem. I've come out to myself. I'm pretty sure Jay realized that I was... that I am gay. But other than he and I, nobody knows.

I like boys, and nobody has to know. Maybe I'll tell my friends. But I can't tell anyone else, especially after that fight with Cameron.

He hates me and it's all my fault. I'm a fucking hypocrite.

"I should probably eat something." I sigh to myself.

I walk over to the fridge and grab a coke can before walking out of the room with it. I lock my door and make my way to the cafeteria with about an hour of lunch left.

I get to my destination in a few minutes. I enter the line and order some Chinese take-out from one of the many brand name fast food places. I make sure to pay and head out to the quad.

I sit at our table that was in the shade. I had just begun eating when I saw Jay walk out onto the quad, being followed by Jack.

"Jack, back the fuck off!" Jay exclaims while turning back to face Jack.

"But baby please... I'll make it up to you." Jack says while pulling Jay close.

"Leave me alone, you fuckboy." Jay says while walking over to where I'm sitting.

He sits down next to me and smiles. He holds my hand under the table right when Jack sits down with us.

"Aren't you a little out of your element, jockstrap? Shouldn't you be at your sunny table transforming into a lobster with your fellow crustaceans?" I ask sassily.

"Ugh, shut up, Casper the unfriendly ghost." Jack retorts, taking a jab at my pale complexion.

"Jack. Take a god damn hike." Jay says.

"But I..." Jack abruptly leans in and kisses Jay on the lips. I could see him bunching up Jay's pant leg in his hand. Jay pulls away from him and lets go of my hand. He slaps Jack across the face.

"You fucking pig! You couldn't pay me to like you after what you said!" Jay yells through a clenched jaw.

"If he doesn't want you here, you shouldn't be here. Plain and fucking simple. You can go back to licking the rest of the football teams' sweaty balls now. Your services aren't needed over here." I say calmly. He glares at me and gets up. Jack gets up angrily and walks across the quad to his sunny table, flipping me the middle finger as he left.

"You fucking wish!" I yelled after him.

"Savage." Jay remarked.

"No problem. I'm an expert on shit-talking jocks." I smile as he scoots a little closer to me. He bunches up my pant leg like Gilinsky had previously done to him.

"Jay." I call firmly while giving him a look that insinuated he was going a little too far. He sighs and lets go of my pants.

We both look to see Matt hurrying out of the school towards us.

"Guys! We have a huge problem." Matt exclaims urgently while sitting down on the opposite side of the table.

"What is it?"

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