Chapter Four

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Show number 6, we are in burbank now. Ive been dragged along yet again, I told adam id be fine at home alone but he insisted. Every night we finish a show we travel to the next place, I swear to god im so freaking tired. Weve been to malibu, san diego, ontario, downtown LA, hollywood and now this place. I was sitting on the edge of the stage as brian wandered in, "there you are what are you doing sitting in here alone its freezing" brian asked.

"Nothing just thinking" I replied, "may I?" he asked gesturing to the stage. "Sure" I replied as he sat next to me, "may I ask what you were thinking about? You dont have to tell me but everyones noticed you seem pre occupied as it were" he said. "Just stuff, me and adam and being here in this place" I mused.

"You and adam?" he said, "please dont tell him" I asked. "I wont unless you say so, why whats happened?" he questioned. "Nothing ive pushed people away so much to proect my heart. I promised myself id never let anyone hurt me again. How do I know that I can love him bri?" I asked. "Is he the first person you think of when you wake up? The person you look forward to waking up next to? The last person you think of at night?" he questioned.

"Well yeah" I answered, "then thats love. Dont build your walls so high he cant get through them or over them. He will break them down, let him in jess he loves you I can see it in his eyes. They sparkle when he talks about you, he lights up when he sees you. Dont push him away jess, being alone gets lonely I know my fair share of people that are alone" he said.

"Thank you brian for listening" I said, "thats fine now go find your man" he said squeezing my hand as I jumped off the stage. I burst through the door of his dressing room as he jumped and cursed. "What the?" he started, I jumped onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Youre leaking eyeliner" I said wiping it with my sleeve.

"Well you scared the crap out of me whats up?" he asked wrapping his arms round my waist, "nothing just wanted to let you know that I love you so much"  I said leaning in and kissing him passionately. He relaxed against my body as I grabbed his hair, he smiled against my lips as his grip tightened. I kissed his neck as he growled quietly, "you are so turning me on right now" he whispered against my hair.

"I can tell" I whispered back as he blushed and twirled my hair round his finger. I stopped kissing him and sat back against his chest, "that was unexpected" he said quietly gently biting my ear. "Yeah I had a talk with bri made me realise im lucky to have you even though those pants seem to be getting tighter and tighter" I said winking at him. "Shut up" he said covering his pants with a book, "aww youre going all red" I teased.

"Shh" he whined as he looked away, "dont be embarrased" I said turning his head to face me. "But it is embarrasing" he said quietly, "nope its not im glad I can do that to you" I said smirking at him. "Sorry to interupt but we need you on stage" roger said peering round the door. Adam shot me a look as I turned to roger, "is it ok if we quickly finish our chat first?" I questioned. "Yeah sure thing we'll see you onstage in a minute" he answered smiling and walking away.

"Great I cant go out there like this" he sighed, "wear a long jacket its freezing in there anyway they wont even ask" I said. "Good idea!" he said shrugging on his jacket and doing up the buttons. "Lets go i'll come watch" I said lacing my fingers through his, as we headed towards the stage.

Once we got there he pulled me up onto it with him and a spotlight fell on me, "what the heck?" I asked. "Youre singing in tonights show" roger said appearing behind me, "funny guy no im not" I replied. "It was adams idea he says you have a good voice" brian replied appearing next to me. "So me and large crowds dont mix I cant sing" I said, "please jess" adam asked.

"Fine ok ok i'll do it which song are we doing?" I asked, "who wants to live forever?" adam said. "Thats my favourite song!" I replied, "I know" he said. "So shall we do it now?" brian said, "sure thing lets kick ass!" I said as they started to play the song. I started singing as adam joined in, when the song was done brian and roger cheered. "Thats going to bring the house down tonight!" brian said, "yeah" I said quietly.

I watched the rest of the rehearsal, I was so not looking forward to this show tonight. I dont want to sing in front of that many people, I dont think I can. I get serious stagefright, thats another reason I never sing in public. But now I have to, I cant go letting people down I guess i'll have to suck it up and try not to embarrass myself in front of millions of people.

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