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Pen Your Pride

CHAPTER 5 - Shocking News

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Shocking News --

I slowly open my eyes with painful headache I've never felt before, someone's fingers brush my hair and I think that what woke me up is this sound. My mom's sobs. When I fully open my eyes I recognize her but I don't recognize the man behind her, I'm in a bed and all the walls are white, the man comes up to me and he checks my eyes and my legs. There's one explanation for this..I'm in a hospital!.

"W-what is..." I try to ask my mom what happened and why I'm here but the headache gets worse the more I talk and I close my eyes tightly as I ask in a lower voice "what happened?".

"we..we got in a car accident but just sleep and I'll explain everything later" my mom tells me as she sobs and it hits me. The argument, yelling, not focusing and the truck. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry Jessica I..I'll never forgive myself".

Why would she say this?

I watch her blaming herself as she sobs loudly and I can't help but comfort her, I tell her that I only have a painful headache and my headache will disappear soon but she keeps crying and the doctor takes her out. People die in car accidents and I'm very lucky to survive. I look at my legs and I notice that one of them seems broken, it's weird how I've always wanted to break my leg or my arm just to stay in bed all day because I hate doing homework.

My mom cares so much about cleaning and doing housework even more than giving my a day off to study, some days I would cry in the bathroom and harm myself because I thought I was alone!. Yes I have my best friend but I don't dare telling her what I do to myself because she will probably be so mad at me, plus, I can't tell anyone anything about harming myself because that would sound so weird and crazy.

But something is so weird right now because my whole life leg is covered with the white thing they usually cover breaks with but it doesn't hurt as much as my head hurts, in fact, it doesn't hurt at all. I sit straight ignoring the painful headache and I try to move my leg but I can't, maybe it's because of the white thing-it's heavy- but I should feel the pain right! 

People feel pains in their legs when they break them but I feel nothing! Okay okay I will touch my toes.

And I do.

I touch my little toe so lightly but I still feel nothing and for some reason my heart starts beating so fast and my hands get sweaty, maybe it's because of the accident I mean things like this happen right!

The voices of my mom and the doctor get close so I quickly lay back in the bed, I fake my sleep to avoid talking to my mom because she will keep sobbing and saying that it's her fault which is not true. It's my fault too. "How should we tell her?" I recognize my mom's voice and I'm assuming that she's talking to the doctor but what does she want to tell me?.

"It's important to tell her as soon as possible because we will release her from the hospital in two weeks" the doctor says. 

"I..I can't...I can't tell my daughter that she's..." I fight the thought of opening my eyes and I keep them shut to hear more...more of something I know that I will be shocked to hear because she's crying and she doesn't wanna tell my that thing! "I can't tell her that she might not walk again" she adds and that's when I open my eyes widely, my mouth is in 'o' shape and I don't know if what's running down my cheeks are tears or not because I've never cried like this before.

They keep falling and I try to say something but it's like there's a rock in my throat and the way I  breath heavily makes it harder for me to talk. My mom walks over to me and she holds her mouth as her hand reaches my shoulder but I jerk it away and I finally manage to say tree words. "You are lying" I whisper staring at her with puffy red eyes and I sit straight even though my head hurts so much, I can feel it beating and every beat hurts worse than the one before.

My mom gets closer to hug me but I push her away as I yell the same three words over and over again, I refuse to believe what I just heard and I won't sit in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I will walk. Ignoring my mom I push the white blanket away and even though I can't feel my left leg I try to stand up.

"Please, Jessica don't push yourself to stand up..you'll get better I promi..." she tells me as I try to stand up but I cut her off by yelling.

"Don't promise me..don't make a promise you can't keep" I hold my leg with both of my hands and I put it in the floor, the other one is easy to put in the floor because I can feel it and it doesn't hurt. Without thinking twice I get up but I only have my right leg's power to keep my feet in the floor and I lose my palance, I fall down sobbing loudly and my mom rushes to help me but I refuse her help.

Walking is the simplest task in life, it's like breathing or eating and you don't need someone's help to do it but now I do and I feel helpless. I can't walk. "This is a lie...I..I can walk" I keep yelling hysterically and the next thing I feel is three or four arms holding me tightly so I don't move. I look up and I see two women wear white, one of them is holding something looks like injection and without even warning me she stabs it in my arm and I'm using the word stab because it hurts so much.

"leave me alone...I will...I will walk and ther..." I try to complete the sentence but the more I talk the more I feel dizzy and everything starts becoming black.

I open my eyes at night, the hospital room is dark and my head still hurts but not like before, I kind of feel better but it hurts me so much that what happened this morning wasn't a nightmare. I can't believe that I might never walk again..it's like...it scares me so much and just thinking of how hard everything is going to be makes me break down in tears.

Getting something from the top shelf, walking to the store, shopping and driving. I won't be able to do anything but one thing gives me a little hope, my other leg is fine and I once studied at school that people like me can be able to walk again but with hard work. Just the thought of not being able to do the smallest and simplest tasks in life makes me want to work hard in order to walk again but it's still nothing but little hope, I might never walk again and in my head I see myself in a wheelchair. I don't know if I'll ever be able to work again and it seems like my life will always get worse.

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I finally reached 100 reads and I know it's a small number but I'm proud, please comment and vote so I reach 200 reads?

Zeefo.

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