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Pen Your Pride

"Ok boys!" Sirius Black whispered to the other Marauders. "Let's go play a trick on Snivellus!"

"Wait up guys!" Peter Pettigrew squeaked. He tripped over his robes and made a deafening crack as he fell on the floor.

"Wormtail!" James Potter (Sr.) snarled. "I was trying to read the Map and because of you, Mrs. Norris is coming our way!" Peter blushed.

"Get under the cloak!" Remus Lupin roared. "This is not a drill! If I get one more mark against me, Dumbledore might demote me from Prefect Status!" Remus trembled at the thought.

"Don't be such a pussy, Moony!" Sirius teased from underneath the Invisibility Cloak. Once they were all under, they stood shock still.

"Mreow?" A little, bushy tailed kitten padded towards them, her wide, lamp-like eyes darting around.

"Guys," Peter whispered shrilly. "I think I'm gonna sneeze." The other Marauders' eyes widened and they attempted to cover Pettigrew's mouth.

"A-A-A-CHOO!!!!!!!" Not only did Mrs. Norris hear the noise, but she also saw the fluttering of the Invisibility Cloak. In a flash, she left the corridor and come back with Apollyon Pringle and the owner of Mrs. Norris and the trainee caretaker: Argus Filch.

"Students out of bed" Apollyon sneered. He took a whip out of his robes and started rolling it out.

"What are we supposed to do now, Mr. Pringle?" Argus questioned. He stayed a distance away from Apollyon, for fear of the whip.

"Well," Apollyon snarled. "Let's see what treasures I can collect first." He ordered the boys to empty their pockets and relinquish their wands. Remus and Peter were empty handed except for their wands (Remus not wanting to get in trouble for carrying anything weird). Sirius uncovered some wrapped dung bombs that they had planned to smoosh onto Severus's clothing and his wand. James, not wanting Apollyon to discover the cloak, hid it far down his robes, but was caught with the map and had to give it up along with his wand.

"Filch," Apollyon barked. Argus jumped and scampered towards his mentor. "Put the dung bombs in the trash and bring the map to my office. We'll look at that later." Argus walked towards the boys and swiped the items away. As he stomped off, he grimaced as he heard the boys' groans as Apollyon whipped them. Argus navigated the hallways with Mrs. Norris until he came to the caretaker's office. Inside was a bunch of filing cabinets marked with dozens of labels and a gigantic waste bucket.

"Now, this is the fun part of the job." Apollyon said, startling Argus. "Let's find out what this parchment is." The caretaker took out his wand and carefully opened the folded map. "Argus, take notes." Filch scrambled to look for fresh parchment and a quill. "Subject looks like a worn piece of parchment. But then why was Potter holding it? He was probably going to prank that Snape boy. Poor boy." Apollyon waved his wand and performed some nonverbal spells that were used to no avail.

"Parchment, reveal your secrets to Apollyon Pringle, or I will burn you." Pringle shouted, purple in the face from madness. Suddenly, ink traveled around the parchment, forming words for Apollyon.

Mr. Moony would like to say hello to Mr. Pringle and ask him if he likes potato chips.

Mr. Padfoot would like to say that Mr. Pringle is a c0ck-sucking busy-body who should keep his nose out of other people's items.

Mr. Prongs would like to say that Mr. Pringle is an idiotic git for stealing this parchment out of the hands of its owner.

Mr. Wormtail would like to comment on how Mr. Pringle should dump his head in a bucket full of dung bombs to make him smell better.

"What is this magic?!" Apollyon yelled. "Mr. Filch!," Argus lurched forward. "Put this parchment in the 'Confiscated and Highly Dangerous' box. Get that thing out of my sight!" Argus snatched up the paper and shoved it into an already stuffed box.

'See you later, boys' thought the Marauder's Map. 'I'll see you later.'


**Author's Note: I realize that the cats only tend to live for around 10-16 years. I'm writing based on the headcannon that Mrs. Norris was a human turned cat**

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