CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: The Doctor

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My thoughts are stars, I cannot fathom into constellations.

Anonymous

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: The Doctor

The paper flew out of my hand.

“I was also shocked when I learned that information, Alisa. Hindi ako makapaniwala, in the sense na bakit siya yung gagawa nyan. I wanted to convince myself na baka nagkakamali lang ako at wala talaga siyang kinalaman sa mga pangyayaring ito. Bakit niya gagawin iyon? Bakit niya gagawing miserable ang buhay mo?”

A tear escaped my left eye. Hanggang sa nagsunud-sunuran na ang mga luhang pinipigilan ko mula pa kanina. Hindi... mula pa magkagulo ang buhay mag-asawa namin ni Ethan. Alam kong maraming dahilan kung bakit mas lalong nagkagulo ang samahan namin, pero sobra-sobra ang ginawa ng kamaliang iyon sa pagtingin sa akin ni Ethan. For one thing, he was on the verge of nullifying our marriage because he thought I was having sex with other men while he was gone.

“Alisa Mae, baka may dahilan, baka hindi talaga siya... sila involved. Baka hindi nila sinasadya ito.”

“Bullshit,” mahinang ngunit madiing sabi ko. “That is purely bullshit.”

“We have to ask them. Hindi naman sila ang mga doctors na tumingin kay Ethan.”

I know Georgette was trying to pacify me. Pero, hindi ko kayang maging kalmado lang. Parang lahat ng mga hinanakit ko sa buhay, lumabas bigla. Marahil, nakadagdag na buntis ako at ang hormones at emotional stability ko ay malabo. Marahil, nagiging impulsive ako sa mga naiisip ko.

Pero, alam ko kung anong tamang makakapigil ng lahat ng kalokohang ito. Masasabi ko na din kay Ethan na buntis ako... na magiging ama siya. Masasabi ko na din kay Ethan na wala akong ginawang mali kundi pikutin siya ng gabing iyon. Magiging maayos na ang lahat. Finally.

Tumayo ako at lumabas sa kwartong iyon. Alam kong nasa likod ko lang si Georgette at naghihintay ng kung anong pwede kong gawin. Ano nga ba ang pwede kong gawin? Marami.

I reached the main lounge the band was staying. Haley was on the floor, crying like a baby, while my husband was standing in front of her. The other band members were just observing, like they’re ready to jump in whenever the need arise. The two make-up artists were gone. I wonder where they went and how Vince and Marco were able to talk through them.

“Ethan... don’t do this to me,” Haley pleaded as she sobbed painfully. I can feel the pain resonating from her voice. I can feel how she longs for my husband to embrace her and tell her that everything’s fine.

But that’s the case, Ethan will never do that. Because he’s mine, and I know he was being true when he told me he loved me. Ethan was looking down at Haley like he was ready to show-off his martial arts skills. But, he would never do that. Ethan had always been the gentleman. He was always the thinker before he moves. He might be impulsive at times, but he knows the limits and the disadvantages of everything he does. Unfortunately, one of his many unfortunate decisions included him leaving me and speculating I had a child with another guy.

“Haley,” Ethan said impatiently. My husband’s a thinker but his temper can get high if you insist what you wanted to happen. He never liked it when people are dictating to him what he should do. He always bails out. He loves his freedom too much.

“Gagawin ko ang lahat. Ethan. Please,” Haley continued to plead. I heard Georgette winced. Nang lingunin ko siya, nakita ko ang awa at disgust sa mga mata niya. Matagal nang magkakilala sina Georgette at Haley. Ilang taon din silang magkasama sa iisang kwarto noong kolehiyo. Kung tutuusin, mas matagal ang naging pagsasama nilang dalawa kaysa sa amin. Pero... ang nakakatuwa sa inaaksyon ni Georgette, ay alam niya kung ano ang tama sa mali.

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