Becoming Ready

Chapter 7 - The Night Before

There was a lot to adjust to over the next three months. Sharing a room with Courtney was one thing, sharing closet space was something else entirely. Despite selling or giving away a lot of their stuff, Charlie and her family still felt cramped and squeezed in the small apartment.

She spent as much time as possible out and about, whether it was working, going to the beach, hanging out with Shawn, or even going to AA meetings occasionally. Many meetings took place in the evening, almost like a substitute for going out to a bar or a party to drink.

As her first day of college approached, Charlie couldn't help but feel anxious. And it wasn't just new school jitters, every time she thought about the Art Institute, she thought about what she was going to do when she saw Cassius. There was absolutely no way to predict when or where it would happen, especially because the school was brand new to her. She was going to be flying blind.

The Sunday night before the first day of the semester, she was positively sick of obsessing over it. She had to get out of the apartment and do something. Shawn always went to 'stag' meeting with his sponsor on Sunday evenings, so he wasn't available to hang out. Stag meant men only.

She decided to go to a meeting with Courtney. Even if it wasn't her favorite option, maybe it would help her think about something other than the following day for a bit.

The meeting they went to turned out to be the same one that Courtney had taken her to in the beginning of the summer.

This time, thankfully, Charlie did not wear a hoodie and sweatpants. She wasn't dressed up or anything, but she did take some time to put on makeup and style her hair. She wore her high waisted jeans, a white crop top and a cute vintage bomber jacket.

Charlie had already met her sister's boyfriend, Matt, who was there. Courtney introduced her to a few other friends of hers, and they all stood outside the church and chatted. They were a little early, but it seemed like quite a few people enjoyed hanging out before the meeting started. There were cigarette butt cans placed on the steps for the large number of smokers in attendance. Charlie herself didn't smoke cigarettes, but she knew it was pretty common for recovering addicts and alcoholics. Shawn definitely hadn't quit smoking when he stopped drinking.

Charlie descended the stairs to go find seats before the meeting began. She noticed the guy Courtney had introduced her to last time, River, was once again greeting people at the door.

"Welcome," he said, shaking her hand. He looked just as handsome as she remembered.

"Thanks," she smiled politely.

"Wait," he stopped her. "Have I met you before?"

"Yeah, I'm Courtney's little sister, Charlie. We met a few months ago, I was not in the best... mindset," she explained.

River nodded and smiled. "I've been there. I'm glad to see you again."

Charlie couldn't quite read the guy, so she wasn't sure if he was just being welcoming, or if he was genuinely happy to see her. She nodded, unsure of what else to say, and walked inside.

She found seats toward the middle of the room this time, instead of the back. When the meeting began, the person at the podium asked everyone who was an alcoholic to raise their hand. Charlie kept hers down. She still wasn't entirely sure if she identified that way. It was a weird position to be in, especially because she was the only one not raising her hand. She was too scared to go to parties and be around alcohol, but at the same time she wasn't sure AA was for her.

She felt eyes on her. She searched the crowd until she made eye contact with River. He was one row in front of her, but on the other side of the aisle. His hand was raised, and she watched as he took note of the fact that hers wasn't. He gave a small nod, as if he found this information interesting.

Later on, when the meeting was over, Courtney wanted to stay and hang out for a bit. Charlie liked Courtney's friends, and she approved of her boyfriend, but she felt like the kid sister around them. She didn't want to be the one who tagged along because she had no life of her own.

She pretended to get a message on her phone and walked away from the group. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure what to do when she was alone. Wanting to look busy, she went back and forth between checking her email and her Instagram. She kept pulling down the newsfeed for updates, but there was nothing new. Of course.

"So Charlie, how did you get sent to AA? Are you on a court order?" River asked, surprising her. She looked up from her phone. He was sitting on the stairs, smoking. She was startled because she didn't see him, but also because he flustered her in other ways. There was something about him that gave off serious James Dean, Rebel Without a Cause vibes.

"Uh, what?" she replied, unsure how to respond to his question.

"You didn't raise your hand," he pointed out, taking a drag of his cigarette. "Usually that means you don't think you're an alcoholic, but the legal system is forcing you to be here."

"Oh, no," she said quickly. She internally wondered how many other people thought that when they saw she kept her hand down. "I didn't get in trouble or anything."

"Then what, you like to listen to the stories, or something?" he asked, giving her a perplexed look.

"No, that's not it either," she answered, trying to figure out what to say. "I'm just not sure if I'm an alcoholic or not."

"Something must have happened to make you think you were, if you're here," River said, putting out the cigarette and throwing it in the butt can next to him on the steps.

"Yes," Charlie agreed, rocking back on her heels. "Something did."

He looked at her like he was waiting for the story, but she didn't tell it.

"Ok, fine, little mysterious one," he laughed, standing up. "I like a girl with secrets."

"I have a boyfriend," she said abruptly.

He looked surprised. "And I'm very happy for you. Did you think I was hitting on you?"

She blushed, her face probably turning a deep crimson. "Oh. Sorry, yeah. My bad."

He laughed again, playfully. He wasn't exactly laughing at her, but he wasn't not laughing at her either. "No worries. I'll see you around."

Charlie was actually grateful that he walked away. God knows how much more embarrassing that conversation could have gotten, had it continued. 

***Next chapter is Charlie's first day of college, plus a showdown with a certain ex.