5. Chaos

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"I am good, you know," Eliza says while letting her body fall down on the seat where Mor and her used to cuddle.

"I know that, silly," a voice says.

It's Jude.

Elisa asked her to come. She couldn't be alone tonight. She's afraid. She's hurt. She's even starting to get sick.

"You really don't," Elisa mumbles quietly so that her friend doesn't hear her.

"You should eat at least another slice," Jude insists, shoving the almost untouched pizza towards her. "You need to be strong now. For Morgana."

For Morgana.

"What if I can't, Jude?" Eliza doesn't take another slice. She only folds her arms over her chest while even more tears are starting to stream down her cheeks.

With an understanding smile upon her lips, Jude sits up from the other seat and joins Elisa on the other one.

"You can," she tells her broken friend. "You're one of the strongest people I know. You ran away from home at just fifteen years old because you were being abused. You started a whole life here. Believe me, you are so damn strong."

Because you were being abused.

It wasn't a complete lie, not really. The handler didn't exactly want to hurt her, only to make her stronger.

Sometimes Elisa wants to tell her friends the truth. The whole truth. But she doesn't dare to do so. She's afraid that they'll be frightened of her.

She might've fled the assassin life, but it's still in her blood. Her whole childhood she has been trained to kill and to fight. That won't disappear.

"Just stop thinking so high of me," Elisa sighs and looks down at her lap. "Stop thinking I'm strong. Stop thinking I'm anything good, really. I'm not worth it."

"Stop doing that," Jude smacks Eliza's arm, but not in a playful way. "Stop this nonsense. Stop blaming yourself! It is not your fault."

Elisa looks up at her friend that's now sitting next to her on the seat.

"It is my fault, Jude." More tears come. "Mor called me. She said she was being followed."

Till this day, Elisa has not said a word about what really happened. Only that Morgana never came.

Jude her lips part, completely shocked by the new information. The blood drains from her face as she prepares herself to hear more.

"I ran."  Elisa cries, not caring about looking like a wreck.

The handler would've ordered her to stop crying. Assassin do not cry. But Elisa is not a true assassin, never was. And so she lets herself cry.

"I ran so fast." Elisa doesn't have the strength to look at her friend's face anymore, so she looks at her lap once again. "But I was too late. She was gone. I mean... I didn't see any trace. She isn't dead."

"No," Jude sighs, trying to get herself together again. "Morgana isn't dead. I'm sure of it."

Jude doesn't know it for sure, not really, but Elisa does. Morgana is still breathing. But now Elisa is weeping in their apartment, while she should be finding out where Morgana is.

Ever since two days ago, the moment she almost got killed by Five Hargreeves, she couldn't stop thinking and wondering.

Morgana could be everywhere. Everywhere in the world. Everywhere in time.

It's hopeless.

That is, unless Elisa goes to Five once again.

How many times she thought about that, too. Yesterday she went to check if Five still came to the apartment.

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