hatred | miniminter

22

i sit for a good 30 minutes, anxiously waiting for simon. he plods into the room and i pull my glasses onto my head, my eyes flickering up and down his body. "hi." i weakly smile, putting my phone down.

"how you feeling?" he clambers onto the bed, sitting beside me.

"not bad. feel a bit rough." i shrug my shoulders.

"i wasn't expecting to see you so soon after last night." he runs his fingers through his hair. our eyes lock for a brief moment, my breathing soon turning shallow as i gaze into his blue eyes, completely distracted from the reason why i'm actually here. his tongue swipes over his bottom lip, slowly pulling an arm out to cup my face. i bite down onto my bottom lip, his face inching closer to mine, instantly slamming his lips against mine.

"simon." i mumble, as he climbs on top of me, now finding myself beneath him.

"hmm?" he mutters, pressing his body against mine as he presses wet kisses along my jaw.

"simon, we need to talk." i whisper, attempting to not crumble beneath him and give into the burning desire.

"there's nothing to talk about." he murmurs against my burning hot skin, bringing face back up to meet mine, "just ignore what i said." pressing his lips against mine again, i shake my head, causing him to let out a sigh. "what?" he pulls back, glaring at me.

"simon, i can't just ignore it." i furrow my eyebrows, pushing his shoulders so i can sit up, "you can't expect me to ignore what you told me last night?"

"fine." he huffs, sitting up against the headboard. we sit in silence for a moment, uncomfortable silence, waiting for the other person to speak, but neither of us know what to say. "look, eden -"

"look, simon -" we stare at one another after saying more or less the same thing at the same time, i take a deep breath in, "sorry, you speak first."

"look, eden, i know i'm a dickhead." he sighs, "but i am sorry."

"okay." i nod my head.

"and as i said last night, i was trying to avoid catching feelings, just didn't seem to work." he loses eye contact with me, now turning away from me completely.

"look at me." i mutter, pulling my body forwards, "simon, look at me."

"what?" he raises his voice, swiftly turning his head to stare at me.

"look, it's just difficult because of everything you have said to me in the past. like, you've been a massive dickhead, only for you to tell me you like me? the only reason i didn't get along with you simon is because you couldn't bring yourself to get along with me." i huff.

"i didn't mean any of it, i promise." he gulps. "i think i've chosen to be that way to avoid you or avoid having to get to know you. and now i have gotten to know you, we're similar and i'm finding more things out about you and i don't know," he breathes in, "i just like you and it's annoying."

"why is it annoying though?" i question, staring at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"well, you're just out of my league. like why would you like me back?" he shrugs his shoulders.

"i told you, i'm not saying there isn't anything there." i sigh, "look, i knew there was something when vik made you do that stupid dare. i didn't even listen to what you said because it sounds stupid, but i was so lost in your eyes." i shake my head, "and sleeping together, i don't just do that with anyone. if i did i would've probably slept with most of you guys now."

"true, most of them fancy you." he scoffs.

"i'm just really fucking confused." anxiously playing with the ends of my hair, i chew at the inside of my cheek. "like, there's feelings there, i know there is. i just don't really know what to do."